tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90227730624908729112024-02-18T21:58:08.782-07:00Erda Girlzammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.comBlogger288125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-53828142085433303542013-04-08T21:01:00.002-06:002013-04-08T21:01:55.018-06:00The 'M' Word<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Marriage.<br />
<br />
What is it?<br />
<br />
Why does anybody want to do it?<br />
<br />
And why is there so much controversy over who gets to do it?<br />
<br />
Ready. . . Go!<br />
<br />
While we're waiting for answers to accumulate watch the video linked below. It sums up most of what I think on the root of the subject. <br /><br />
<a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2013/04?lang=eng&vid=2282327754001&cid=CN000071" target="_blank">We Believe in Being Chaste</a> <br />
<br />
But since this is my blog and I want to talk about it, we will resume the discussion at a later date.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-68893927705324288632013-03-04T00:07:00.001-07:002013-03-04T00:07:35.651-07:00March 2013 CES Fireside: from a single persective <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Tonight's <a href="http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/ces-devotionals?lang=eng" target="_blank">CES Broadcast</a> was a real gem. Replete with personal anecdotes from Elder David A. Bednar and his wife, Sister Bednar, it was a spiritual feast with lessons for people of all ages and backgrounds. However, since this is my blog and I like to write about the things which pertain mostly just to myself, I will focus on my favorite topic: dating. Yay for being a YSA: Young, Single, and Aware of it!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Sister Bednar began with words focused on this simple poem:<br />
<br />
We must have<br />
Ears to hear the word of the Lord<br />
Eyes to see His plan<br />
Feet to follow in His path<br />
Hearts to understand<br />
<br />
She spoke about how many YSA become disillusioned and disheartened when blessings they feel entitled to receive have not been bestowed in a timely manner. They break covenants and turn their backs on the Lord as a manner of rebellion. <br />
<br />
She was totally talking about dating! When people don't get to date someone they fancy, or they don't get married by a personally appointed date, many become dissatisfied.<br />
<br />
I can remember thinking that I'd die of embarrassment if I were still single at the age of 25; a failure as an LDS YSA. At 26 I can laugh at my former self. <br />
<br />
If I were to expand Sister Bednar's little poem it would read as follows:<br />
<br />
We must have<br />
Ears to hear the word of the Lord; to listen and comprehend His love and compassion for our individual needs<br />
Eyes to see His eternal plan, with a perspective set higher than the immediate<br />
Feet to follow in His path however long and far it may stretch because the journey is for our growth and development<br />
Hearts to understand and become strong, unbreakable, and compassionate by learning to love all -- not just those who are exceptional<br />
<br />
Elder Bednar focused his talk on a seemingly small idea voiced by Elder Maxwell, whose passing opened a place in the Quorum of the Twelve for Elder Bednar. Elder Maxwell, preparing for an aggressive chemo-therapy treatment, told his wife, "I just don't want to shrink."<br />
<br />
"To not shrink is more important than surviving," Elder Maxwell confided to the Bednars.<br />
<br />
To shrink means to retreat or become small.<br />
<br />
The Savior in Gethsemane pleaded with the Father that He might not shrink. And He did not.<br />
<br />
To not shrink is the same as enduring to the end. To hold steadfast and continue despite terrible adversity and a desire to pull away from the pain of difficult trials.<br />
<br />
It may seem trivial, but to many -- myself included at several times in my life -- dating is a very painful and difficult trial. We are taught that marriage and formation of a family is our ultimate goal in life. However, when that goal is put on hold or seems so far off as to be impossible, it is easy for despair to creep in.<br />
<br />
Some shrink and settle for someone less than ideal, convincing themselves that they do not deserve anyone better.<br />
<br />
Elder Bednar taught that in facing a seemingly unconquerable trial we must seek "...to overcome, through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, the natural man tendency to demand impatiently and insist incessantly on the blessings we want and believe we deserve." <br />
<br />
He went on to describe a trait shared by true disciples of Christ: "Strong faith in the savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives; even if outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted."<br />
<br />
I have a testimony of the Lord's timing in our lives being anything but that which we would plan for ourselves. Every plan I have made has been slowly broken down. I have learned humility and compassion for others as the Lord has showed His will in my life.<br />
<br />
In no aspect of life has this been more apparent than in dating. With a righteous desire to fulfill God's will for eternal marriage, I could not understand why dating was such a struggle. I saw others who seemed blissfully on the path to a life of joy in one another's arms. Rainbows and lollipops. I could not see how blind I was. With a narrow perspective focused on my timing and insisting on immediate gratification, I could not see the eternal blessings being showered on me daily.<br />
<br />
When I learned to have, "...focused faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and complete submission to His will," I began to see the tremendous changes in my person; the ways in which the Lord had molded me.<br />
<br />
While very far from a perfect understanding, it is abundantly apparent that the Lord has a plan with purposes that cannot be discerned by mortals such as myself. It is folly to shrink from that which is painful, but will soon pass. Instead, we must learn to fully submit to the will of the Father in all things, and trust that He will provide a path to victory. </div>
zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-39841554561853714102013-02-26T00:21:00.003-07:002013-02-26T00:21:26.159-07:00The Wedding Planner<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My friend is getting married with only a six week engagement.<br />
<br />
She asked me to be her wedding planner.<br />
<br />
I said yes.<br />
<br />
I'm glad I can do it.<br />
<br />
We're DIYing this wedding and cutting costs using tissue paper pom poms to decorate instead of flowers. The paper arrived just two days after we ordered it and I started working on poms this evening. I've made 15 and have another 500 to make. Give or take.<br />
<br />
This month is dedicated to movie parties where I will hold my guests hostage as slave laborers in my tissue paper sweat factory.<br />
<br />
Hahahahaha! Try to avoid it -- I will hunt you down!<br />
<br />
Three colors of poms. Lots of lights. Photos of the bride and groom. Three chocolate fountains with dark, milk and white chocolate. Fruit infused water. Simplicity at it's finest. <br />
<br />
I'll be posting pictures and keeping you all updated.<br />
<br />
This is going to be fun!</div>
zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-81269234904662771902013-02-24T23:30:00.000-07:002013-02-24T23:30:24.017-07:00As It Should Be<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<i>1 Corinthians 13: 4-7</i><br />
<i>Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity enviety not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, </i><br />
<i>Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; </i><br />
<i>Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. </i><br />
<br />
In versions other than the King James Bible, "charity" reads as "love." But that's what charity is. Deep, abiding, true love. This verse is used in a lot of wedding services for the simple beauty and poetry of the words mingled with advice applicable to everyone but particularly to those committed to love each other for ever.<br />
<br />
I think it's gorgeous.<br />
<br />
During a conversation with a very dear friend this afternoon I asked, as I often do, what helped her to know that her husband was "the one."<br />
<br />
She said, "<i><span style="font-size: large;">Love is easy</span></i>." <br />
<br />
"If it's complicated or hard, then it isn't love. Not<b> real</b> love." <br />
<br />
This resonates with me.<br />
<br />
Whenever I think about the possibility of a dating partner I pray. I ask God to help it to be easy because I can't deal with complicated any more. I ask Him to help it come to a natural end soon if it's not meant to last.<br />
<br />
And He hears me.<br />
<br />
Love should be easy. <br />
<br />
I've had people tell me that meeting their significant other was like finding their long-lost best friend, their other half, their one and only. There wasn't an event that let them know, they just <b><span style="font-size: large;">knew</span></b>.<br />
<br />
This has always confused me. How can a person just <span style="font-size: large;"><b>know</b></span> something? Isn't there some kind of formula by which this thing can be tested scientifically? Shouldn't your choice in life partner be based on something a little more substantial than a visceral reaction fueled by hormones?<br />
<br />
Things finally clicked for me today.<br />
<br />
Love should be easy.<br />
<br />
It should be based on friendship.<br />
<br />
And mutual respect.<br />
<br />
A shared history; no matter how short that history may be.<br />
<br />
Real love is not complicated.<br />
<br />
It doesn't come with deadlines.<br />
<br />
Or a check list.<br />
<br />
It should be natural.<br />
<br />
Like breathing.<br />
<br />
Or stretching after a long sleep.<br />
<br />
It should feel good.<br />
<br />
It should be comfortable.<br />
<br />
And joyful.<br />
<br />
It's easy.<br />
<br />
As it should be. zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-37042464955784868182013-02-14T23:31:00.001-07:002013-02-14T23:31:22.818-07:00The Day of Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As a Valentine's tribute I'd like to give a shout out to my main squeezes.<br />
<br />
Jamie, Miles, and Allister, I love you!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
It's nice to have some cute nephews to love on and then send back to their parents. :) <br />
<br />
Today my eyes were opened to many types of love that surround me. My parents, siblings, and friends are all amazing examples exemplifying love, compassion, and forgiveness. I can't help but to be lifted when I'm surround by people like these.<br />
<br />
I love you all and hope that my expressions are noticed. <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
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zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-78330168062160029452013-02-13T23:28:00.001-07:002013-02-13T23:28:27.831-07:00Mormon Baseball Metaphor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
In college my friends had a little game that roommates and close friends enjoy the benefits of those in love. It involves sharing food when some little progress has been made in your dating relationship. The expense of the food roughly equals the magnitude of the progress. <br />
<br />
Like this:<br />
<br />
Holding hands -- M&Ms<br />
First kiss -- Ice cream<br />
First make out -- Pizza party<br />
Engagement -- Steak dinner<br />
<br />
By the time the engagements started happening my friends were all long past this game. Unfortunately, I've never had occasion to share even a humble plain chocolate M&M with anyone.<br />
<br />
*sad face* <br />
<br />
Actually, I've saved myself a lot of money and heartache while enjoying plenty of ice cream and pizza parties! Hahahahaha, suckers!<br />
<br />
Today, because it is the <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #e06666;">Week of Love</span></span> and cupid is buzzing around, I was thinking of the baseball metaphor for gettin' some lovin' and of how it's so confusing for LDS people. Let's face it, if you're living the religion, you don't go past first base!<br />
<br />
So I figured I'd revise this metaphor to be pre-marriage-Mormon-friendly.<br />
<br />
Here goes:<br />
<br />
First base: Hug<br />
Second base: Holding hands<br />
Third base: Kissing!!<br />
Home run: Making out!! (Kissing for an extended period of time.)<br />
<br />
Ooh, la, la! With bases like these, we should all hit the cold showers!<br />
<br />
In all seriousness, these are things that we celebrate -- mostly in small ways -- because it should mean something. It should be a symbol of mutual respect and admiration. <br />
<br />
For that matter, a hug should mean something, too. A symbol of friendship and felicity, a hug is often one of the most comforting gestures.<br />
<br />
As a matter of fact, the hug should be added to our little food game. It should be a stick of gum. Because everyone needs gum and everyone needs hugs! And I've given a lot of hugs and gum to people!<br />
<br />
Boo-ya! I have finally validated my efforts to get over my personal space bubble -- to hug and be hugged! Plus, I've given/received many sticks of gum. <br />
<br /></div>
zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-81175011563328462062013-02-12T21:00:00.001-07:002013-02-12T21:00:31.642-07:00The Science of Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
I love science! And this little video is the science behind love! Sounds like a match made in heaven. :)<br />
<br />
It's interesting to know that there's a reason behind that feeling of invincibility during a crush or the first throws of young love. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/02/11/20090211lovescience-ON.html" target="_blank"><b>This article</b></a> from azcentral.com highlights some ways which studying love can heal. Since love creates an actual addiction in our brains, a broken heart is actually withdrawals. It may be possible to give someone an external drug to replace that feeling and help with heartache during troubled relationships. Or it might be useful for people with autism who find it difficult to make emotional connections.<br />
<br />
In any case, love is pretty cool!<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XcATvu5f9vE" width="420"></iframe>
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zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-8904168684283435652013-02-11T14:20:00.002-07:002013-02-11T14:20:38.745-07:00Why I'm Still Single<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Preface:<br />
The following is a post I began several months ago. Since it is the <span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Week of Love</span> </span> around here, I think it would be appropriate to delve back into that deep pool of dating "advice" that I can offer to all of you.<br />
<br />
Hahahahaha! <br />
<br />
Advice, indeed!<br />
<br />
Read on at your own risk; there is little but amusement in my words.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Why I'm Still Single </b><br />
<br />
When single people first meet they go through the 'standard' questions pretty fast: What's your name? Where are you from? What do you do for a living? Where did you go to college? <br />
<br />
But what they're really getting at is: Are you available? And if so, why? <br />
<br />
Why, indeed. <br />
<br />
Was it a recent break up? Here, let me comfort you.<br />
<br />
You're too committed to your work/school/hobby? Oh, ok then. <br />
<br />
You don't know how to date? Let's work on that together.<br />
<br />
You just haven't found someone yet? Let's work on that together. <br />
<br />
You have a cripplingly low sense of self worth and can't see how anyone would ever love you but really hope that someday, someone, somewhere is going to shatter your self-imposed glass ceiling of social limitations and wisk you off on a brave white horse? He he...oh, wait... you're serious. Huh. See ya later! <br />
<br />
There are a lot of reasons for people to be single. <br />
<br />
It has to do with a serious lack of "another" person because, after all, it does take two to make a pair. <br />
<br />
The thing is: every individual has a reason that is so totally individual that it's hard to compartmentalize and pin point exactly <i>why</i> someone is <b>still single</b>. <br />
<br />
But this is my blog and since I'm the only individual who contributes to the content, let's delve into the reasons for why <b>I</b> am still single, shall we? <br />
<br />
<b>The Question</b><br />
<br />
It takes about three conversations or one encounter with my cooking before a person will work up the nerve to ask me: Why are you still single?! And they usually aren't asking about why the "boyfriend" position is not currently filled -- no, they want the skinny on why the "husband" position is still up for grabs. They ask as though it is unimaginable that I haven't been swept off my feet and carted off into a sunset that banishes singleness only to dawn as a new day of marital bliss. <br />
<br />
Apparently I possess communication skills sufficient to recommend me for marriage and cullenary wizardry potent enough to settle the matter. <br />
<br />
Geez, if that was all it took I probably would have been a child bride! I was quite precocious at five, which consequently was the age my mother began allowing me to be her sous chef. By eight I had memorized my favorite chocolate cake receipe and would bake at least once a week as long as someone else would lift it from the oven because I was scared of being burned alive. <br />
<br />
Actually, I was scared of a lot of things, including child molesters, so I don't think marriage would have suited me in Kindergarten. <br />
<br />
By six years old I had regressed socially to the point where talking to another child was difficult and communicating with an adult was nearly impossible. Yes, I can carry on a conversation now that seems some-what intelligent but it has taken me years and years to be at all comfortable talking to a person I don't know well. In fact, it takes me about six months before I really start to open up. Most people give up after six days.<br />
<br />
Not that I blame anyone for eschewing my company except to nibble on confections and share a few thoughts. While I think that I am delightful, it's understandable that some people hate sugar and loathe spice. Those types and I are better off in seperate social spheres anyway.<br />
<br />
<b>The Intimidation Factor</b> <br />
<br />
Since this . . . issue. . . has been brought up many, many times in the years following my sixteenth birthday I'll give it some consideration here. When some cute young thang is sitting at home every friday night wondering when her daddy is going to live up to his promise to dissuade hordes of suiters with the help of a very large stick she sometimes turns the eye inward for a bit of introspective detective work. When that fails to provide satisfactory answers she begins to ask those who know her well. When they tell her that she intimidates boys because she's <i>too</i> amazing she goes in her room and cries it off. Who wants to be told that they are more than sufficent and thereby undesirable? <br />
<br />
The thing is: I don't buy it.<br />
<br />
The last time someone made a point of telling me how intimidating I am it quickly became evident that he suffered some emotional damage from others and was still healing. Pointing out my flaws -- real or imagined -- made it easier to forgo commitment.<br />
<br />
I am a strong woman. I have goals and plans to achieve them. I have many accomplishments. I will not be made ashamed of who and what I am. I will not apologize or be made to act less than my potential dictates.<br />
<br />
If this is intimidating, then please man up and talk to me once you've gone through puberty of the brain.<br />
<br />
<b>The Dismissive Attitude</b><br />
<br />
The last time my grandmother visited she gave me a garnet ring and made a observation: <i>You're dismissive to the young men</i>. <br />
<br />
The ring was because we shared the same birth month and because I was one of her favorites.<br />
<br />
The observation made me cry. <br />
<br />
Heavy sobs that tore at my heart until my temples throbbed.<br />
<br />
She was right and I hated to admit how dismissive I had been. I wear the ring as a reminder to try and give the young men a chance. <br />
<br />
While it doesn't negate the fact that I have been very guilty of not giving men a fair chance, I do have good reason for behaving in a dismissive manner.<br />
<br />
I learned the hard way that unrequited love is the easiest type because it really only takes <span style="color: #741b47;">one</span>. And no matter how devoted that <span style="color: #741b47;">one</span> tries to be, it will not make up for lack of interest from the <span style="color: #0b5394;">other</span>. <br />
<br />
So, without meaning to, I learned to settle. I learned to love from a distance and in my imagination. I learned to find gratification in masochistic heart break.<br />
<br />
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<br />
This vein of undesirable self discovery has led me to be far more patient with men and women alike and to make opportunities for others to get to know me and take advantages of opportunities to show my friendly side. I genuinely love to hear a person's history, thoughts, and dreams. Instead of self-consciously waiting for a Prince Charming to approach me and then focusing on why it won't ever work, I try to be as cheerful and content as possible while branching out and making friends. This has influenced the way that I date and form attachments.<br />
<br />
<b>So, Why Am I Still Single? </b><br />
<br />
While there is still more to the equation the simple answer is, "I don't know." But know that I've changed a lot because I've thought of why and what can be fixed and what must simply be accepted. <br />
<br />
I used to think that I didn't have to worry about falling in love. It would just happen one day. Like waking up and realizing that I'd grown up, I'd simply be in love and know him when I saw him. It all seemed terribly romantic. Love at first site followed by eternal fidelity without a second thought. </div>
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UcFtjpStPI4" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
What has become quite evident is that all relationships take hard work, tenacity, and forgiveness. I guess I'm waiting to find someone patient enough to get to know me slowly, build a history with me and fall gently into love. <br />
<br />
And that, my friends, takes time.<br />
<br />
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zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-63150093298137228852012-11-15T23:19:00.000-07:002012-11-15T23:19:14.864-07:00First Observe, Then Serve<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #444444;">Last week was full of surprises that kept me on my toes. Late on Saturday night I was talking to friends as a party I had hosted started to wind down. During the course of the conversation it was brought to my rememberance that I has committed to giving a talk in Sacrament meeting during church the next morning. It's been some time since I was asked to give a 15 to 20 minute talk and I was a little excited to be asked. Even having forgotten my commitment, this didn't bother me much. I had been asked to give my thoughts on a specific talk given during the most recent biannual General Conference -- all I needed to do was summarize the talk and add my own thoughts. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;">Waking early Sunday morning to prepare my talk, I was struck to do two things: write everything out and share stories about my brother, Adam. This was a little unusal. I typically jot down some notes and write out quotes but mostly just speak my mind. And I usually leave thoughts of Adam to be shared with close friends. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;">After giving this talk and hearing the responses from those in my ward, I feel that there are reasons I needed to write it all out and speak of Adam. I needed to share these thoughts here and I needed to be reminded of my brother. So here it is, the talk that has stirred the emotional pot and brought me back to my blog again - hopefully for good this time.</span> <br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">In June of 2003 my family went through
one of the most difficult things a family can go through. My mom and
my brother, Adam who was 11 at the time, were driving home to Erda on
the lonely stretch of Utah road between Ibapah and Wendover. It was
really the back end of nowhere. Something happened and the car rolled
six times. Every time it flipped it landed on the passenger side. My
mom suffered a few minor scrapes and bruises. Adam didn't make it. In
the days that followed we witnessed many miracles. Our ward had split
about six months before so when this happened we had the benefit of
two wards coming to our aid. I felt the power of the Holy Ghost more
strongly than I thought possible. I literally felt the power of
prayer as so many families headed the teachings of Christ when he
said to mourn with those who mourn. There were a lot of meals, hugs,
and tears shared but one act of service has lodged in my heart
forever. After a visit of condolence our neighbor, Danny Idom,
noticed that our yard hadn't been attended to. He came back early the
next morning and without knocking on the door or saying anything
proceeded to mow the lawn, weed flower beds and set everything right.
He saw a need that we couldn't fulfill at that time and he gave us
his efforts to fill it. Danny internalized and heeded the Lord's
teaching found in John 15: 12.
</span></div>
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<span style="color: #45818e;">
</span><span style="color: #45818e;">“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I
have loved you.”</span><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">Relief Society General President Linda
K. Burton summarized this commandment in four words easy to remember:
she said to <a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/first-observe-then-serve?lang=eng" target="_blank">First Observe, Then Serve</a>.
</span></div>
<span style="color: #45818e;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">Sister Burton shared a story that
illustrated this point.</span>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="primary"></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">Almost 40 years ago my husband and I
went to the temple for our Friday night date. We had been
married only a short time, and I was nervous because this was
only my second time as a newlywed. A sister sitting next to me
must have noticed. She leaned over and whispered reverently,
“Don’t worry. I’ll help you.” My fears were calmed, and
I was able to enjoy the rest of the temple session. She first
observed, then served.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="bottom-gradient1"></a><span style="color: #45818e;">Sister Burton urges us to
listen to the Prophet. She said:</span>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="primary1"></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">One of the greatest evidences we have
that our beloved prophet, President </span><a href="http://www.lds.org/church/leader/thomas-s-monson?lang=eng"><span style="color: #674ea7;">Thomas
S. Monson</span></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">, is the Lord’s chosen servant is that he has
learned to follow the Savior’s example—serving
individually, one by one. Those of us who have entered the
waters of </span><a href="http://lds.org/study/topics/baptism?lang=eng"><span style="color: #674ea7;">baptism</span></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">
have covenanted to do the same. We have covenanted to “always
remember [the Savior] and keep his commandments,”</span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9022773062490872911#footnote1-10411_000_030"><span style="color: #674ea7;">1</span></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">
and He has said, “This is my commandment, That ye love one
another, as I have loved you.”</span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;">
</span><span style="color: #674ea7;">Notice how the following words from President Monson include
the same invitation: “We are surrounded by those in need of
our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our
kindness. … We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth,
with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is
dependent upon each of us.”</span><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">First Observe, Then Serve<br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">Adam was always a high strung
individual. He was excitable and sometimes quite irrational. Growing
up we always had a family project that took up most of the summer.
These were not fun. It was always hard work. Because of these
projects I can lay and finish drywall. I know the basics of building
construction, how solar panels work, how to stuff a circuit board,
make a phone cord, and run a small business. I also know how rural
sewage systems work with a septic tank and drainage fields. I know
this because one infamous summer we had to redo the system in our
back yard. Adam complained all the time about the work and would
refuse to help so one day we locked him in the gardener’s shed. He
screamed and fussed until we let him out. After that, whenever he
complained we hinted that a trip to the shed might be in order and he
straightened out. It was around the same time that I learned an
important lesson with Adam. When he started going into a fit
complaining that it was unfair to ask him to do a chore I would take
him aside, wrap him in my arms and hold him until he calmed down. I
would then explain that we all needed to work together and he needed
to contribute to family effort. After a time of gentle words and
soothing he would meekly go and fulfill what had been asked of him. I
saw through the Saviors eyes a young man who just needed a little
understanding – to be heard and loved for a minute – and I was
able to serve him by giving him my time and a calming embrace. I
taught my mom this technique with Adam and she used it frequently.
Since he passed away this memory has given me great comfort. I know
that Adam felt my love for him. I observed and served my brother in a
crucial time in his short life.</span>
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">Brothers and Sisters, it is not enough
to theoretically love others. You must show that love, that caring,
that charity as Christ would. By serving the individual we truly do
as President Monson encouraged:</span>
</div>
<br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;">“We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our
encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness. … We are the
Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to
lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us." </span>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">Who around you is in need of help? Who needs some small kindness?
Who needs a listening ear, a gentle hug, a sweet word of
encouragement? When you recognize a need it is a prompting by the
Holy Ghost to act, to serve, to be the Lord's hands. Do not let the
moment pass, but act. When you first observe, then serve.
</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #45818e;">Sister Burton related another time
recently when she was prompted to go to the temple. She said:</span>
</div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="primary2"></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">A few weeks ago, I was hurried and
frazzled, with too many to-dos on my list. I had hoped to go to
the temple that day but felt I was just too busy. As soon as
that thought of being too busy for temple service crossed my
mind, it awakened me to what I most needed to do. I left my
office to walk over to the Salt Lake Temple, wondering when I
was going to recapture the time I was losing. Thankfully, the
Lord is patient and merciful and taught me a beautiful lesson
that day.</span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;">
</span><span style="color: #674ea7;">As I sat down in the session room, a young sister leaned
over and reverently whispered, “I’m really nervous. This is
only my second time in the temple. Could you please help me?”
How could she ever have known that those words were exactly
what I needed to hear? She didn’t know, but Heavenly Father
knew. He had observed my greatest need. I needed to serve. He
prompted this humble young sister to serve me by inviting me to
serve her. I assure you that I was the one who benefited most.</span><br />
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span style="color: #45818e;">After Adam passed away my dad wrote a pamphlet on how to respond
to the grief of others as we remembered the helpful service of our
friends and neighbors. Among the helpful tips he relates a piece of
advice that is applicable in all times of life. Do not say, “If
there's anything I can do for you, just ask.” Instead, just act.
Danny Idom saw our lawn was a mess and came over to mow, trim and
weed. A kind sister saw Sister Burton's need for help in the temple.
I saw my brother's need for understanding. Don't leave your service
until someone is pleading for your help. If you see a need, find a
way to fill it. This does not mean that you must take on the burdens
of the world. There are many things that cannot be fixed by one
person. Strive to be receptive to the Spirit in your home, your ward,
your community. Don't wait for a service project or for an
assignment. Become friends with those you home or visit teach. Learn
to be the Lord's hands in the lives of others as they are His hands
in your life.
</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">
</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">First Observe, Then Serve</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #444444;">I've been thinking a lot about the importance of getting to know others. Of reaching out and becoming familiar with all sorts of people so as to recognize when things are a little off. Of knowing when to step up and help out. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;">This week two members of neighborhood passed away. It was amazing to attend the first funeral and see how well everything worked because there was a plan that just needed to be set into motion. I can't remember much of Adam's funeral. I remember the important parts. But don't ask me who set up chairs, brought food, or gave us hugs. Those things all just sort of happened. Someone else knew what was needed and served my family in specific ways that total strangers couldn't have. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;">I think right now I'm going to start small by grooming my thoughts into more charitable ones than I'm naturally inclined to have. I'm going to work on being more kind to my family. I'm going to be more available to help when others really are begging for aid. Once I've mastered the little things then maybe I can move on to the bigger issues of humanity. Maybe. </span><br />
</div>
zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-73119856002210907972012-09-16T23:34:00.004-06:002012-09-17T00:33:47.177-06:00Waking Up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<br />
I've been absent from this here bloggy-thing for some time now. You see, when I first began writing I took it for granted as a form of self therapy. When you put an idea down in words it becomes real. When you publish those words they take on a life of their own. When that idea begins to soar the creator can fly. <br />
<br />
I felt that all my stories had been told. I thought that I could stay aloft for some time on the updraft. <br />
<br />
Recently, two people have reminded me that I still need this form of expression -- for myself and for others. <br />
<br />
Since last September I have been experiencing resolution to several long-held dreams. Truly living on my own for the first time. A lovely room in a little house in the Avenues of Salt Lake. Long walks in every season down abored streets. A job in a real hospital. And not just any -- Primary Children's Medical Center! Time to explore. Time to live. Time to grow. Time to become. <br />
<br />
The summer sun brought a harsh new dawn of sorts and the dream ended. I had to wake up. <br />
<br />
I quit my job, couldn't afford rent without an income, and felt utterly desolate. <br />
<br />
As it turns out I need someone to take care of me. <br />
<br />
For someone as independent and responsible as I, this is a revelation. Let me make it a declaration: I cannot do it all on my own! I cannot live as an island! I need to accept help as easily as I give it! I need to allow someone else to love me in more than philosophical terms! I have needs and this does not make me broken -- it makes me human!<br />
<br />
Sobbing on my father's shoulder one afternoon it became apparent that my family has been my safety net the whole time. Always there to pick up the pieces when I fell apart. Always there to welcome me back and make room. Always there to help me make my dreams come to fruition in earnest. <br />
<br />
I believe the family to be sacred. As an active member of the LDS church this principle has molded my perception of the world. The home is a sanctuary. One from which I have attempted to stay away but find myself drawn back to time and again. As the third child of eight with parents who had no idea how to raise so many children, life was not always easy. In fact, I'd consider my childhood to be full of anxieties and stressors with responsibility premature for even my precocious sense of duty. After many years I have learned to forgive and love with all my heart. My family is my greatest joy, my most lasting satisfaction, my refuge. Participating in and working toward creating a family I'd be proud to own for eternity, not just "'Til death do we part," is the most worth while thing I can do with my life. <br />
<br />
I believe in love. I believe in a right to choose who I love. I believe in the rights of others to choose who they love. I believe that families have no boundaries. Any group of people who love one another is a family. I do not believe that there are heavenly limits in place for exclusion based on popular terms of morality. Intolerance has no place in my world. I choose to practice charity instead. <br />
<br />
I've been thinking a lot about the Eleventh <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1?lang=eng" target="_blank">Article of Faith</a>.<br />
<br />
<span class="verse"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">We claim the <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup></span></span><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1?lang=eng#" id="footnote49" rel="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?lang=eng&volumeUri=pgp&bookUri=a-of-f&chapterUri=1&noteID=11a"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">privilege</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"> of worshiping Almighty God according to the <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup></span></span><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1?lang=eng#" id="footnote50" rel="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?lang=eng&volumeUri=pgp&bookUri=a-of-f&chapterUri=1&noteID=11b"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">dictates</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"> of our own <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup></span></span><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1?lang=eng#" id="footnote51" rel="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?lang=eng&volumeUri=pgp&bookUri=a-of-f&chapterUri=1&noteID=11c"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">conscience</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">, and allow all men the same privilege, let them <sup class="studyNoteMarker">d</sup></span></span><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1?lang=eng#" id="footnote52" rel="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?lang=eng&volumeUri=pgp&bookUri=a-of-f&chapterUri=1&noteID=11d"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">worship</span></a><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> how, where, or what they may.</span><br />
<br />
I believe in allowing all men to live according to the dictates of their own conscience, just as I believe it is my right to do the same. <br />
<br />
I've been doing some reading lately. I just finished <em>The Book of Mormon Girl</em> by <a href="http://askmormongirl.com/" target="_blank">Joanna Brooks</a>. She has inspired me to not only to discover my beliefs but to declare my beliefs and how I have come to know them. <br />
<br />
Elder Russell M. Ballard in his July 2008 Ensign address <a href="http://www.lds.org/ensign/2008/07/sharing-the-gospel-using-the-internet?lang=eng&query=internet+spread+gospel" target="_blank"><em>Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet</em></a> encourages the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to spread Truth. I choose to participate in this effort by sharing my stories. While I am a work in progress, I do not claim my thoughts to be the complete Truth. I can only attempt to convey my personal beliefs in the hopes that someone else seeking complete Truth may grow with me. <br />
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Now, I make no promise as to how frequently I may get the bug to write. Nor will I keep any sort of agenda. But I will promise to speak my mind. Which I have done all along. <br />
</div>
zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-30775006512523645992012-05-21T23:03:00.000-06:002012-05-21T23:03:46.144-06:00Single Lessons Come One at a Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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You know how things feel pretty great and life can just be put on cruise control and allowed to coast on by -- but then you hit a hill and start to loose momentum? <br />
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Today is a hill day. <br />
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It's been coming for up for a while. Things were just too happy. Too care-free. Too many good things in a row. Not to say that today was any less wonderful or awful than normal. In fact it was exactly like every day for the last several days in a row. But today it felt like all of the stress and exhaustion settled in. Today it felt like doing anything was five times harder because I'm on an incline and slowing down. Today I felt like I used to feel all the time. Before I learned how to live better.<br />
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Tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will conquer this hill. Tomorrow I will start coasting downhill. <br />
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But tonight I want to share a little of what can be learned by being on the hard side of attitude adjustments. <br />
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During the preamble to a pity party I decided to check in with a friend. We had some things to go over for this weekend and eventually our conversation drifted past the niceties that clothe insecurities and dove right into the gooey stuff. <br />
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It seems that some of my deepest insecurities have been prodded at with sharp, pointy sticks while associated dreams seem too far for realization, yet on the cusp of possibility. It's aggravating and hurtful, and lonely -- with just enough hopefulness to make me weep from helplessness. When well-wishers express the validity and purity of my dreams and say that I "deserve" to hold them, I feel smaller under the weight of their endorsement while simultaneously being buoyed their hope in me. Their hope that I can do something big. Something bigger than I've ever done. <br />
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That's when I remember: the Lord has given my dreams purpose and confirmed that they are worthy to be held. And that makes me feel responsible. Every choice counts. Timing is imperative, but not at all in my hands. My actions count, but so do those of others. I cannot hope to do this on my own. I need help. <br />
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That's when I feel small. <br />
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That's when I remember: the Lord has helped me before to do things I thought I could not do. He has made things possible I never thought could be. He has been gentle with me. <br />
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When I reflect on relationships that almost happened I am glad that they did not. I have been sheltered from more heartache and disappointment than I have suffered under the shadow of loneliness. I am stronger on my own and more compassionate to those who struggle. <br />
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Tonight my friend complimented me. She said that while I may not be patient with myself, I have learned patience for others. While I may be aware of my sorrows, I am also aware of how they shape me into the Lord's understanding my potential. While I may curse my ill timing, I foster hope for what is to come in the Lord's timing. <br />
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She shared her trials with me and as she wept I realized that our suffering is the same. Every feeling of helpless inadequacy and hopeful yearning exists in both of us; only the nouns differ. That's when I realized: the Lord sees us all like this. Suffering is universal. The only way out is to be lifted above ourselves and see our fellow beings with clarity and compassion. I have been where you are, you will be where I am, we are here together. <br />
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Today is a hill day. <br />
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Maybe I won't make it to the top by tomorrow but I sure will try. I will enjoy feeling wind on my face at the peak.</div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-8280874329746019942012-02-21T12:14:00.000-07:002012-02-21T12:14:32.612-07:00Valentine's 2012<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">A week later and the love is still fresh! Enjoy!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSUcVswGzxCKzOevhWbOxZEhrpKOHN1nW35N6dvIyonZYOYx2l3b9Z9qXTIXTsY1NoNLy0XlKOI91T7Z3WQYUBgBtTXu13jR0OuF_ZIOjvlaLOjxHV0oMjxPdV8fZWcTwRyK9SOT_JEw/s1600/DSCN3418.01.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" lda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSUcVswGzxCKzOevhWbOxZEhrpKOHN1nW35N6dvIyonZYOYx2l3b9Z9qXTIXTsY1NoNLy0XlKOI91T7Z3WQYUBgBtTXu13jR0OuF_ZIOjvlaLOjxHV0oMjxPdV8fZWcTwRyK9SOT_JEw/s400/DSCN3418.01.JPG" width="400" /></a></div></div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-15243730529876959712012-02-08T22:12:00.000-07:002012-02-08T22:12:12.373-07:00Gotye Somebody That I Used To Know<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8UVNT4wvIGY" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
I think most people have a few people that they used to know. <br />
<br />
I think most people have someone who ought to be left for good. <br />
<br />
I think it hurts either way. <br />
<br />
I think it is liberating, too. <br />
<br />
Can't win for losing. </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-80581050667074375202012-02-05T12:11:00.000-07:002012-02-05T12:11:00.150-07:00Bouquet Toss<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Good Sabbath! <br />
<br />
Sunday is an awesome day to reflect on the past week. Or month. Or year. Or anything that needs to be reflected upon. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7D9DKTUjKWMrSKkNro8iLejakDIPamYsmrYxpNRSicam6N364AlpLmbi-ljuZTpg89pIqrimOD7no4pWSJtUWCCi1uGANcfny6bN2rBQelv54bLNKvhiUxH1-kC6OxtfymrbS-slHOs0/s1600/flowers01.1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7D9DKTUjKWMrSKkNro8iLejakDIPamYsmrYxpNRSicam6N364AlpLmbi-ljuZTpg89pIqrimOD7no4pWSJtUWCCi1uGANcfny6bN2rBQelv54bLNKvhiUxH1-kC6OxtfymrbS-slHOs0/s320/flowers01.1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Last night I attended a wedding for a dear friend and before very long all the single ladies were called up to try their luck at catching the coveted bouquet. I stood there, anxiously waiting for the beautiful bride to hurl her heavy floral arrangement into the crowd, just one of many more or less willing to try for a clean catch. Girls nervously shifted from side to side and looked embarrassed to be numbered among the unmarried. One woman brazenly turned her ring around so as to declare herself un-engaged just to join in the fun. Even the little girls fidgeted in front and wondered if they would be lucky. <br />
<br />
As these things usually go, I choose the side opposite of the bride's pitch and don't even put up my useless hands for an attempt. Who needs a wedding bouquet, anyway?<br />
<br />
Ah. The moment of truth. With the flowers hurdling through space and some quick estimates in the physics of botanical gravity, I realized that the bouquet was headed right for me! My numb hands sprung up... and grasped the arrangement!<br />
<br />
Sweet victory! It was finally my turn! I didn't have to be single forever! <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3FZgk2ELiO4gz5EZTutkA8UN5rKXAQe1hB71UGNrHyyDay3XpfGsZWQXxG9Y-TskZI7TZ8HTWC5imxnDfQcBncDrdz9BbSCM5ChoE9rxaEHllwK_ONBrJQpHdvc3eE_4NTcmzoHjF5GU/s1600/England+520+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3FZgk2ELiO4gz5EZTutkA8UN5rKXAQe1hB71UGNrHyyDay3XpfGsZWQXxG9Y-TskZI7TZ8HTWC5imxnDfQcBncDrdz9BbSCM5ChoE9rxaEHllwK_ONBrJQpHdvc3eE_4NTcmzoHjF5GU/s320/England+520+-+Copy.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
A moment later it dawned on me that I was not the only one with hold of the coveted blooms. The engaged woman had the flowers by the stems. I had merely grabbed at some petals. As I released, a large section of rose heads fell to the ground. Little girls ran underfoot to collect several of the flowers I had ripped out and seemed quite pleased with themselves. The engaged woman looked very smug, indeed. <br />
<br />
Ah, well. Back to being alone. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4EdbQJeoWqKPMUmwK-Pm6TFG0ya4sQpZg0XMHJ1rY0wJqqVlEHO_og596_JHs3PvTjKYFPplm91ErJwh67Qz_x3QbH6hUFizbRuPRCyODXoZFbHpvlXzca7Sfe1FRC4aRFXwdvMQfblY/s1600/IMG_0099G02.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4EdbQJeoWqKPMUmwK-Pm6TFG0ya4sQpZg0XMHJ1rY0wJqqVlEHO_og596_JHs3PvTjKYFPplm91ErJwh67Qz_x3QbH6hUFizbRuPRCyODXoZFbHpvlXzca7Sfe1FRC4aRFXwdvMQfblY/s320/IMG_0099G02.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
On my drive home I was reflecting on the events of this wedding and another where I happened to end up with the bouquet. <br />
<br />
In that wedding the bride and lobbed her flowers into a bush I happened to be standing near so I just picked them up. The bride's niece was so upset that she hadn't caught the flowers (it was her one goal for the entire event) and sat crying on the sidelines, beside herself with grief of lost possibility. <br />
<br />
So, I gave her the flowers. <br />
<br />
Her face beamed and the rest of the festivities were magical for her because of that pile of fragrant blooms. <br />
<br />
I began to wonder what why such a tradition has endured. Why brides lob floral arrangements at their guests? And why does the groom remove an intimate article of his bride's wardrobe to slingshot at other men? <br />
<br />
So I did some research. <br />
<br />
It all comes down to luck. A bride is supposed to be very lucky. After all, she did snag a husband to take care of her and thus avoid the trials and persecution of spinsterhood. The flowers were a way to share this luck with the guests. The garter was a way to avoid greedy guests tearing off chunks of the bride's clothing to take home as lucky souvenirs. <br />
<br />
Still, it is a little silly. <br />
<br />
I mean, people start fights over these things! <br />
<br />
But not me. <br />
<br />
I just hand them over and wish the luck on someone else. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicFns611MVCVtSyIOBnE2SS_zEKoZ_oE0mKjoQLVthjfb3EaRpIbEz6o0hq85IEzAzPFLVm8M4bqKSB3jjCdeFT0ONxMCADeoJ8yt68cHGNau7V2rRzZqSuV8MCvOjtmuVw3Q6bqKZjEA/s1600/fortune+cookie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicFns611MVCVtSyIOBnE2SS_zEKoZ_oE0mKjoQLVthjfb3EaRpIbEz6o0hq85IEzAzPFLVm8M4bqKSB3jjCdeFT0ONxMCADeoJ8yt68cHGNau7V2rRzZqSuV8MCvOjtmuVw3Q6bqKZjEA/s320/fortune+cookie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Maybe that's why I'm still single. <br />
<br />
It's hard to say. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhGRZOU95gGqfsK1wIgT5TxHF_r27SLfeWQVyDXUf47xSKEf2FXD-Fk9sKZUPYFhUaO16XWk3odrQTB3FtgfF7tEq-28Y2tA0MJvewMTcTNimZsXzNGPmLZUx0jHfw7WPkItzgpX-GcE/s1600/DSCN3297.06.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhGRZOU95gGqfsK1wIgT5TxHF_r27SLfeWQVyDXUf47xSKEf2FXD-Fk9sKZUPYFhUaO16XWk3odrQTB3FtgfF7tEq-28Y2tA0MJvewMTcTNimZsXzNGPmLZUx0jHfw7WPkItzgpX-GcE/s320/DSCN3297.06.JPG" width="320" /></a></div></div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-33019763771034890822012-01-26T13:00:00.000-07:002012-01-26T13:00:29.237-07:00Thursday Thought no. 3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">My marital status in a nutshell:<br />
Single. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmIExhKOVdfUYhE_nSyuS4KOUZgPVLkg8S8Ln7VDE3nt2ZYHn8F23BOMKi2cfqpH2_JUylHik55JMdwMqpX1xyx3AygZeWYag9Gqy8XD1_RnQmyNcWKPRnm3JKURf6KjVA5IG92_xoGw/s1600/DSCN2800.12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gda="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmIExhKOVdfUYhE_nSyuS4KOUZgPVLkg8S8Ln7VDE3nt2ZYHn8F23BOMKi2cfqpH2_JUylHik55JMdwMqpX1xyx3AygZeWYag9Gqy8XD1_RnQmyNcWKPRnm3JKURf6KjVA5IG92_xoGw/s320/DSCN2800.12.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But not lonely. I really do think it's ok to be alone for a bit. Helps a body to feel self sufficient. Helps a soul to rely on God more than man. Or lots of men. Or back to even just one man. There's no point in worrying about marital status. Even as a Mormon chick whose friends are mostly all married and working on families. My life plan is not the same as my friends' life plans. I am not them. I am me. I am enjoying being single. I am enjoying being independent. My soul is enjoying enlightenment. And there's nothing anyone can say that will change my mind. <br />
For now. </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-81297595684115674002012-01-26T12:51:00.001-07:002012-01-26T12:53:04.437-07:00Thursday Thought no. 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Winter in a nutshell: <br />
Cool. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmIExhKOVdfUYhE_nSyuS4KOUZgPVLkg8S8Ln7VDE3nt2ZYHn8F23BOMKi2cfqpH2_JUylHik55JMdwMqpX1xyx3AygZeWYag9Gqy8XD1_RnQmyNcWKPRnm3JKURf6KjVA5IG92_xoGw/s1600/DSCN2800.12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gda="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmIExhKOVdfUYhE_nSyuS4KOUZgPVLkg8S8Ln7VDE3nt2ZYHn8F23BOMKi2cfqpH2_JUylHik55JMdwMqpX1xyx3AygZeWYag9Gqy8XD1_RnQmyNcWKPRnm3JKURf6KjVA5IG92_xoGw/s320/DSCN2800.12.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Literally. It is soooo cool! But not really cold this year. We've only had a handful of days since November that have been cold enough to make nose hairs stick together. You know it's really cold when your nose hairs not only stick together but form tiny snot-cicles as you breath. Now, that's cold. I grew up in Quincy, IL, on the Mississippi River. It got cold there. We used to go shoe skating in puddles of ice that formed between the tracks of a runaway train stop. Wind chill from the humid air would make cold into soooo cold. When it was soooo cold the ice in the air would cut your skin and make it burn. When it's cold enough to burn you know it's really cold. <br />
But in Utah, it's just soooo cool. And cool makes good powder in the mountains. </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-70713770880992337992012-01-26T12:42:00.000-07:002012-01-26T12:42:09.097-07:00Thursday Thought no. 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">My life in a nutshell:<br />
Awesome! <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmIExhKOVdfUYhE_nSyuS4KOUZgPVLkg8S8Ln7VDE3nt2ZYHn8F23BOMKi2cfqpH2_JUylHik55JMdwMqpX1xyx3AygZeWYag9Gqy8XD1_RnQmyNcWKPRnm3JKURf6KjVA5IG92_xoGw/s1600/DSCN2800.12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gda="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmIExhKOVdfUYhE_nSyuS4KOUZgPVLkg8S8Ln7VDE3nt2ZYHn8F23BOMKi2cfqpH2_JUylHik55JMdwMqpX1xyx3AygZeWYag9Gqy8XD1_RnQmyNcWKPRnm3JKURf6KjVA5IG92_xoGw/s320/DSCN2800.12.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
For instance: I get to play with a volunteer orchestra. This is my third partial season with the group. They let me play even though I sort of stink it up and ghost more than half of most songs. They let me come back for partial seasons. I have a place. There is no audition. I will never have to solo. I'm a better violinist than I was when I began playing with them in 2009. I'm a better violinist than when I was 18, vice president of my high school orchestra, president of an extra curricular strings ensemble, and practiced daily. I think this is because I have more confidence in myself as a human being. I think this is awesome. I think my life is awesome right now. </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-50024819954257609652012-01-15T10:41:00.001-07:002012-01-15T10:43:03.558-07:00V-Day Is Looming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hey, hey folks! <br />
<br />
It's official: Valentine's Day is less than a month away. <br />
<br />
Since <a href="http://zanyzam.blogspot.com/2011/02/valentines-palooza.html">last year's cards</a> were well received I've decided to make another very special batch of Zammity Valentines. I'm only going to make 20 cards this year, so if you want one post a comment here or leave your name and mailing address on a FB message to me. <br />
<br />
Start thinking your lovey dovey thoughts, ladies and gentlemen and prepare to be amazing by what I have in store! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhGRZOU95gGqfsK1wIgT5TxHF_r27SLfeWQVyDXUf47xSKEf2FXD-Fk9sKZUPYFhUaO16XWk3odrQTB3FtgfF7tEq-28Y2tA0MJvewMTcTNimZsXzNGPmLZUx0jHfw7WPkItzgpX-GcE/s1600/DSCN3297.06.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="326" kba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhGRZOU95gGqfsK1wIgT5TxHF_r27SLfeWQVyDXUf47xSKEf2FXD-Fk9sKZUPYFhUaO16XWk3odrQTB3FtgfF7tEq-28Y2tA0MJvewMTcTNimZsXzNGPmLZUx0jHfw7WPkItzgpX-GcE/s400/DSCN3297.06.JPG" width="400" /></a></div></div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-42656502359660720542012-01-02T23:23:00.001-07:002012-01-02T23:23:39.439-07:00Parental Advice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-KNZnssY41ygZRWzZw-sIv3qSUmAZC6OV47DSjjlGCPzyEvi1yTdXxsCAvcZzMv5P088pLh44XolqA4hti3PZhn_KYsAsKFb5jnknaFrrQjg06-ICFwt5SQGhKhqwvZaXR9T8Qldkdj0/s1600/DSCN0074.02.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" rea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-KNZnssY41ygZRWzZw-sIv3qSUmAZC6OV47DSjjlGCPzyEvi1yTdXxsCAvcZzMv5P088pLh44XolqA4hti3PZhn_KYsAsKFb5jnknaFrrQjg06-ICFwt5SQGhKhqwvZaXR9T8Qldkdj0/s320/DSCN0074.02.JPG" width="297" /></a></div><br />
Lately my parents have been full of advice concerning *blush* relationships. <br />
<br />
Took me <em>totally</em> by surprise. <br />
<br />
They've <em>never</em> brought up the subject before. <br />
<br />
Can't <em>imagine</em> what has prompted this sudden onslaught. <br />
<br />
Hahahahaha! Yeah, that was me being facetious. What other route can I really take, though? Depression lowers opportunities for *blush* relationships, so why get worked up over not having one? I choose, rather, to not think too much about it and concentrate instead on being happy with myself. <br />
<br />
I read somewhere that the most powerful thing a girl can possess is a cheerful attitude. Being happy helps others to want to be around her. People are more likely to go out of their way to help someone who is smiling but will generally ignore someone who is in a bad mood. <br />
<br />
So I work to be happy. And I have a lot to be happy about! I have family and friends who cherish me. I'm surrounded by daily affirmations that I'm in the right place at the right time of my life doing the right thing. What more can a girl do? <br />
<br />
My dad's advice is always something that I try to forget as soon as it is heard. In high school he would tell me to act like a ditz. A Barbie doll with no brain. Show a little more skin and less cerebrum. Guys respond to a hot body. While that may all be true, I know that he only told me those things because there was no chance I'd actually do any of it. It's beneath me to prostitute my values for a date. *sticks up nose* <br />
<br />
In my college years Dad's general tune was as devil's advocate. "Just go fornicate, Zarah! It's <em>fuuuun</em>!" Again, he knew it wasn't something I'd likely do for the sake of doing it. <br />
<br />
Lately it's been a tired wish that arranged marriages were still in vogue. However, he can't seem to name any real candidates when I ask who I ought to marry. The only men he knows are ones who I've dismissed for good reason. <br />
<br />
Sorry to disappoint you, Dad. Never thought this would be my biggest failure. *shrugs*<br />
Recently in a conversation on this topic (which comes up every time I see/talk to him) my Dad gave some advice that may be worth investigating. He said, "All's fair in love and war. You have to be selfish." <br />
<br />
Huh. <br />
<br />
Selfish. <br />
<br />
Can I do that? <br />
<br />
I've tried before in relationships and have been disappointed. It hurts more when the investment is one sided. And it's horribly embarrassing when the ownership is one sided. <br />
<br />
I can be annoyingly selfish around my family. But that's because I know they will still love me. When it comes to anyone else I verge on being a push-over -- I give because I've been taught that generosity is the only way to win friends and influence people. However, no one respects a push-over. It's a fine line. <br />
<br />
So, how does someone stake a claim on another's emotions and time? <br />
<br />
In reading, attending lessons, firesides, and broadcasts on the subject, I've learned quite a lot about the theory of dating. But, like with most things, I have a hard time converting book knowledge to real life practice. Maybe I think too much about it all. <br />
<br />
Anyway, here are a few things I've learned recently about relationships: <br />
<br />
- The top quality men look for in women is "<strong>kindness."</strong><br />
- The top quality women look for in men is "<strong>faithful to me."</strong><br />
- Faith has everything to do with romance and should not be left out or disregarded.<br />
- The best way to prepare for a relationship is to identify character traits that are necessary in a future partner and then focus on becoming someone who would attract such a person.<br />
- A date is anything that is Planned ahead, Paid for, and Paired off.<br />
- Do not tolerate anyone who "belittles you, is critical of you, who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor." Jeffery R. Holland<br />
- Relationships will always take hard work. There's no such thing as having it "just happen."<br />
<br />
So, can I be selfish? Hell yeah! This is a big choice and might take several wrong choices before the best option comes around, but it's worth it to be assertive. <br />
<br />
Thanks Dad. <br />
<br />
Of course, in the same conversation he did go on to tell me to find a man with lots of tattoos and a drinking problem just so long as he has man bits. . . So, I'm not sure how much he wants me to follow his advice. . . </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-11669142285502730702012-01-02T22:13:00.000-07:002012-01-02T22:13:51.996-07:00Thanks, 2011<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">So far 2012 has been a right lazy year. I've spent most of it curled up in bed wearing fuzzy socks and pajamas. Mmmmm, fuzzy socks. I've watched a lot of Hulu, Netflix, and DVDs and I try to will my sinuses into foregoing what feels like impending infection. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Stupid body parts.</span> I'm currently watching ABBA music videos and trying to figure out how people in the '70's caked on so much make up without it flaking off in the slightest wind. I guess we will never know. . . <br />
<br />
It's been a great year so far. I have a feeling it's going to be something else. So many amazing plans, so many people to meet, get to know better, and so many places to explore! <br />
<br />
2011, all I have to say is, "Thank you." <br />
<br />
And to all of you: thank you from the bottom of my heart. <br />
<br />
</div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0dcbw4IEY5w" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
On a related note: I'm throwing myself a big party on my birthday, January 7, and you are all invited! </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-35023464323187056032011-12-25T21:15:00.003-07:002011-12-25T21:27:08.735-07:00Merry Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb8U3kCJIAak5ovg6xQilSqzkCU06qKEyW6BOZtD-Vw5JMhUEXvy4Bk_ZAnRgeT8KXN9FuztROcruxdfe0KledxZfsenPE-t8Srmcu7Rqlsakflrs6G9112GIKdrAGAuSWlY-sB-GL9Js/s1600/IMG_0700G01.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" rea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb8U3kCJIAak5ovg6xQilSqzkCU06qKEyW6BOZtD-Vw5JMhUEXvy4Bk_ZAnRgeT8KXN9FuztROcruxdfe0KledxZfsenPE-t8Srmcu7Rqlsakflrs6G9112GIKdrAGAuSWlY-sB-GL9Js/s400/IMG_0700G01.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Today is Christmas.<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas, no matter your personal views on the matter, because, well, it's Christmas! <br />
<br />
This time of year is often characterized by a massive push of consumer greed. The uber cheerful music, showy gift wrapping, and crazed shoppers are enough to make me gag. If I have to hear one more rendition of "Santa Baby" I just might tear off my own ears. <br />
<br />
Except, I truly do like Christmas. I like the glittery lights, good feelings, good food, and massive push for family togetherness. <br />
<br />
I like gifts! <br />
Receiving is great, but I really love giving gifts. Particularly when I have something especially good in mind for the recipient. The joy of watching them carefully peel off brightly colored wrapping paper is only topped by the singular moment when they realize exactly what is in their grasp. It's priceless! It is beautiful. <br />
<br />
Today I received a bit of an unexpected gift. <br />
<br />
A touch of the "true meaning of Christmas" in wondrous solidity. <br />
<br />
We only had one hour of church, as opposed to the regular three hour set. I arrived late due a miscommunication and arrived just as the children were singing about the birth of Christ. As I sat in the family pew I was a bit surprised to see a dear Brother on the stand in front of the ward choir. Earlier this year we were shocked to learn that this man had a vigorous form of cancer with few treatment options. He's known for some time but waited to share with the community until recently when his health has impacted his ability to participate in normal activities. This man holds my utmost respect and I'm sure he will never know quite how large an impact he has had on the lives of many thousands. He is good and kind and has done much to help my personal understanding of gospel of Jesus Christ without ever knowing. <br />
<br />
He had been invited to speak on Christmas to share his feelings about the Savior of the world. His testimony was sweet and simple but powerful. <br />
<br />
He opened by stating, "I don't know how many days, weeks or months I have left, but nobody really does." <br />
<br />
That alone reduced me to tears. I cried openly as the realization touched my heart that this may be the last time I hear him speak at all. However, I am consoled by the knowledge that he knows where he is going and who he will meet and all will be well for eternity. Death is scary, but not so terrifying when the outcome is understood before. <br />
<br />
No one knows when we will be called back to our Heavenly Home. No one knows how much longer we have to set things right. No one knows when our last day will be. That is why it is so important to find joy in every moment. Joy in the journey, no matter where it takes us. That is why we must use today to show others that we love them. That is why we must live today as if it is our last. Because it just might be. But even if it's not, even if we have dozens of years left ahead, wouldn't it feel like a waste if it was used in the pursuit of unworthy goals? <br />
<br />
It is no mistake that Christmas is celebrated at the close of the year. We have exactly one week before the new year dawns, bringing new opportunities for change and growth. Let's use this week to prepare not only for the coming year but also for that great unknown adventure that has no knowable time or date. Let us prepare by using every day to become better, more worthy children of a loving God. <br />
<br />
The real beauty of Christmas is in its name: Christ. Jesus Christ was born to help us undo all of our mistakes. He helps us to set things right, to atone for the things that have and will go wrong. He shows us that we are worth second chances. He helps us not only to learn but to reach our potential to be more than what we are naturally capable of becoming. It is only through Jesus that we can ever hope to be found worth before our Heavenly Father. He <span style="background-color: white;">shoulders the weight of sins that would crush us. He sets right the injustices of the world. He does more than you or I can comprehend while in the mortal sphere. </span><br />
<br />
In the New Testament, <a href="http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/luke/2?lang=eng">Luke 2</a> tells the story of Christ's birth. A group of shepherds were visited that night by glorious angels. The angles brought these common men "good tidings of great joy" and communicated how they ought to recognize the babe. When they found Him, these good men told Mary all that the angels had told them. Mary not only heard and wondered at these words but "kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." <br />
<br />
Don't forget how you feel today. Store up every amazing thing you hear, see, and feel. Ponder them in your heart as Mary did and know that Jesus Christ is the Lord and Savior of the world. <br />
<br />
Christ is worth celebrating. <br />
<br />
Merry Christmas!</div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-89784876646594339362011-12-04T21:11:00.001-07:002011-12-26T11:04:09.983-07:00People Watching<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">This weekend I went Christmas shopping with my mother. First of all, I adore my mom. She has never-ending pockets of energy even when she claims to be exhausted. Maybe it's just a mom thing, practiced when there are a thousand baby needs and only one Mommy to meet them all. I don't know. All I know is that she is amazing. Some day I want to be as cool as my mom.<br />
<br />
As we navigated busy parking lots, stores and mall corridors, we kept things light and purposeful. We'd made a list of those we were shopping for and what we wanted to get them. We'd discussed what the ideal gift would be for each person. We planned where to go for which items and where we could look if the first place didn't pan out. We were organized! <br />
<br />
To keep up with our busy schedule and maintain spirits we did a little bit of people watching -- like you can only do during the Holiday season. Here are a few of our observations: <br />
<br />
- A woman dropped her cell phone into a freshly changed trash bin at the food court. While she dithered and looked around for an employee to rescue her, a stranger just reached in and pulled up the bag to retrieve the phone. He then proceeded to blow it off as though his breath and spit flecks would clean the device. Handing the phone back to the woman, this knight in shining armor couldn't help but do one more kind deed: he took the trash from a waiting child and disposed of it for her. <br />
<br />
- We pulled out of a parking stall near the business fronts as a line of cars formed behind us. A man who had waited for us in the other lane of traffic swooped in and beamed from ear to ear at his good fortune. He waved cheerily to us and was obviously satisfied with his lot. <br />
<br />
- A family with three children were waiting to meet Santa. The father grouped his offspring in a corner of the North Pole display and was taking snap shots like he was a professional. He kept barking orders and making the kids stay for more photos. These children where about 10-13. Pretty sure they knew about Santa already...<br />
<br />
- After making a purchase at a lonely mall kiosk, my mom and I walked away as two more patrons swooped in declaring their <em>need</em> for the item! People are easily swayed, when they see that someone else wanted something it is quickly placed on their list as well. <br />
<br />
- We went to about five shops looking for French cuff dress shirts. When we asked the sales associates, they looked at us as though we had asked if they carried diamond tiaras. Do people in America seriously not know what a French cuff shirt is? We found more cuff links than we did shirts. How many people purchase the cuff links but not the shirts? "Oh, look, cuff links! This is a great gift for the man who has everything and won't ever use my gift!" In any case. if you are interested in purchasing a French cuff dress shirt for a snazzy man in your life please try Dillard's first. They actually have a selection with more than just white shirts. <br />
<br />
- We ended our adventure in Wal Mart for a few house hold purchases. While waiting in line we observed an old man in a wheel chair pushing his items in a plastic tote in front of him. *scooch, wheel, scooch, wheel* It just about made me cry. </div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-58979428641601247082011-12-01T23:12:00.001-07:002011-12-01T23:14:05.297-07:00Never Been Kissed: a film and a rant<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I just finished watching Drew Barrymore's <strong>Never Been Kissed</strong> for the first time since I was, like, 13 when we watched it at a Young Women's activity. I thought it was extremely inappropriate at the time because we were too young to be dating at all and was mortified by and then grateful when my leader fast forwarded (remember VHS?) through the banana scene. Oh the banana scene!<br />
Now that scene just made me laugh. <br />
<br />
Actually, the whole movie made me laugh. You wanna know why? I related to the plot. <br />
<br />
While I think it was unrealistic, asinine, and a little perverted with the main romantic leads being a teacher/student pair I did relate to the heroine. <br />
<br />
In the most unflattering way. <br />
<br />
She was Josie Grossie in high school, the geek who just wanted to be popular. I was an nerdy little mouse who truly believed she had attained invisibility but just wanted to have a few good friends. <br />
<br />
Josie was invited to prom by the guy of her dreams only to be egged instead. I didn't even get invited to prom even though I secretly wanted to really badly and didn't even have a guy of my dreams to egg me.<br />
<br />
The adult Josie grew up to be successful doing something she was good at but desperately wanted something deeper. Same boat. <br />
<br />
Josie had pet turtles. I've always wanted pet turtles. <br />
<br />
She was 25. I'll be 25 in a month and six days. <br />
<br />
She'd never really been kissed. I've never been kissed. At all. Unless you count when I was three and he was four and we were going to get married when we grew up. (Ha ha! <em>That </em>sure didn't happen!)<br />
<br />
Basically, Josie and I are the same person, right? <br />
<br />
It's kind of horrible, but I even do my hair the way Josie does hers in the beginning of the movie. Now that's just creepy! <br />
<br />
The thing is: we <em>are</em> the same person. While I would never be quite as horrific as she, I have done and said some pretty cringe-worthy things in my day. *shudder*<br />
<br />
There's this scene in the movie where Josie is telling her office friends about how she had never really, really been kissed (let's give a plug for the title!) and she describes a real kiss in this way: </div>"That thing. That moment. You kiss someone, and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person, and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it and so scared that it will go away." <br />
<br />
Forget the ridiculous high school shenanigans that makes this film so difficult to watch all the way through. This quote is the only thing that should have survived the editing process. <br />
<br />
It puts words to the ideas that have been floating in my head all my life. <br />
<br />
And maybe I get those ideas from when I was, like, 13 and we watched <strong>Never Been Kissed</strong> for YW's. Who knows. <br />
<br />
I had a long conversation with my favorite older sister yesterday. I expressed my frustrations and difficulties with dating in general and how every time I think things are going well it all just comes to a screeching halt for one good reason or another. She listened to my rant about how easy it looks for other people and how I have proof that I don't intimidate <em>all</em> guys and I really do have <em>something</em> to offer in a relationship.<br />
<br />
Blah, blah, blah. <br />
<br />
Same tired conversation I've had a million times with a dozen people. <br />
<br />
You know it's bad when you're sick of your own broken record. <br />
<br />
But my lovely, wonderful, beautiful sister had a contribution that stopped my turntable pretty quickly. <br />
<br />
"You know," she said, "some people are just casual about those types of things. They find someone who doesn't look entirely like a swamp monster and decide to try it out for a while. But they usually end up unhappy and move on. I'm not like that and neither are you." <br />
<br />
It's true. I'm not casual. <br />
<br />
Not with the important things. <br />
<br />
And what's more important than giving up a part of yourself and hoping that it will be accepted and returned in kind? <br />
<br />
So, I'm just going to keep all of these kisses right here on my lips until someone inspiring comes to receive them. And I'm not going to feel bad about it at all. <br />
<br />
*shakes fist at society*<br />
<br />
The best part about that movie: when I first watched it I thought I'd rather die than be 25 and never have kissed a boy. <br />
<br />
Ha ha, ho ho, hmmm. <br />
<br />
Yep, call me Josie and send me back to high school. <br />
<br />
</div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-77817637279567246622011-11-25T19:19:00.000-07:002011-11-25T19:19:44.677-07:00Life Uh-huh!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I sniffed a baby scalp today. <br />
<br />
It smelled like perfection. <br />
<br />
It belongs to my little sisters little boy. I'm so proud of her and of my big sister for birthing two wonderful little guys this fall. They're just three weeks apart and look pretty similar. I figure that they will either be best friends or biggest competitors.<br />
<br />
Growing a family is so hard but seems to pay pretty good dividends. Maybe I'll invest in that in the future. <br />
<br />
So that storm I mentioned a few posts ago...yeah, I think it's set in. It's funny how you get super busy with all aspects of life at exactly the same moment. <br />
<br />
Here's my list for the next week: <br />
Church calling<br />
visiting teaching<br />
find a new roommate<br />
write a letter of recommendation<br />
request letters of recommendation<br />
sign up for classes to retake<br />
figure out how to pay for said classes<br />
work on applications for my Masters<br />
cuddle a baby<br />
pay bills<br />
work . . . a lot<br />
figure out Christmas gifts for my British family so my parents can take it overseas and I won't have to pay shipping<br />
breath<br />
use up my Netflix free trial offer so I won't be too sad when I have to discontinue instead of paying for it<br />
sleep so I don't get sick<br />
read a book so Dad can stop asking me if I've read it yet<br />
eat a lot of ramen<br />
go to the temple<br />
pray<br />
figure out which schools I'm applying to for sure<br />
pray some more<br />
finish a story I began to write<br />
clean my room<br />
scrub my bathtub<br />
breath<br />
figure out my schedule for the next six months so I can work in volunteer hours<br />
pray even more<br />
<br />
I know my list isn't really that bad. It just feels like a lot. Especially since I've sort of checked out on responsibilities for a while because it just feels so good to not worry. <br />
<br />
It's funny but I wasn't excited for Halloween this year. It's my very favorite holiday and I just couldn't muster a spark of enthusiasm. I dressed up, went to parties, carved my pumpkins, made pumpkin seeds, baked a lot of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and went to the pumpkin patch. But it just felt empty. <br />
<br />
No, this year I'm much more excited for Christmas! I'm excited to put up the enormous tree in my parent's front room. Hot chocolate and peppermint sticks are calling my name. The lights at Temple Square seem to be my very favorite place. Snow! Lot's of snow and skiing! I want to wake up Christmas morning and make Swedish pancakes in my pajamas. I want to fulfill every Christmas tradition out there. And then make some up! <br />
<br />
That's all. I'm going to go watch a Christmas movie or two. <br />
<br />
Tootles! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpGcpZ8rz3JzsQJXIchTOyyhe9d8ZeMZqCamGL5H9HTgfelG-Up7P9esa4NioEhmHtS6SoSX2deK2aqK-5xHUhXKdFc7Ubh-k3kDDTeTlHNmD3rDvadwt-sjdnKAZvlDr-V11uerRK5GM/s1600/IMG_0654G01.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpGcpZ8rz3JzsQJXIchTOyyhe9d8ZeMZqCamGL5H9HTgfelG-Up7P9esa4NioEhmHtS6SoSX2deK2aqK-5xHUhXKdFc7Ubh-k3kDDTeTlHNmD3rDvadwt-sjdnKAZvlDr-V11uerRK5GM/s400/IMG_0654G01.JPG" width="400" /></a></div></div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9022773062490872911.post-16531549958631424232011-11-12T14:23:00.001-07:002011-11-12T14:51:07.416-07:00Everyday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GMezwtB1oCU" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
Everyday it's a-gettin' closer<br />
Goin' faster than a roller coaster<br />
Love like yours will surely come my way<br />
A-hey, a-hey-hey<br />
Everyday it's a-gettin' faster<br />
Everyone said, go ahead and her<br />
A-hey, a-hey-hey<br />
Everyday seems a little longer<br />
Every way love's a little stronger<br />
Come what may<br />
Do you ever long for, true love from me<br />
Everyday it's a-gettin' closer<br />
Goin' faster than a roller coaster<br />
Love like yours will surely come my way<br />
A-hey, a-hey-hey<br />
<br />
Everyday seems a little longer<br />
Every way love's a little stronger<br />
Come what may<br />
Do you ever long for, true love from me<br />
Everyday it's a-gettin' closer<br />
Goin' faster than a roller coaster<br />
Love like yours will surely come my way<br />
A-hey, a-hey-hey<br />
Love like yours will surely come my way<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7qjRq-4mvLsKvo9NHwOfsCWrUtGmsMN7K_qLQIvGweFg87HbtNZt558kRI2c-XRuOuvLHgqU0f4vZ4hk8ptWlDr8GWf2vFsnXZiiJZBz2CLGcNdgqtcwZd5HUpVYPdKPqWcTdQn5VPA/s1600/IMG_0630.01.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="292" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7qjRq-4mvLsKvo9NHwOfsCWrUtGmsMN7K_qLQIvGweFg87HbtNZt558kRI2c-XRuOuvLHgqU0f4vZ4hk8ptWlDr8GWf2vFsnXZiiJZBz2CLGcNdgqtcwZd5HUpVYPdKPqWcTdQn5VPA/s640/IMG_0630.01.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Santa Monica Pier, May 2011</td></tr>
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I've been thinking a lot about falling in love lately. Maybe it's just the season. You know. Fall is for falling in love, right? And I adore everything about Fall, so why not love too? <br />
<br />
The problem is: I can't seem to visualize myself in the type of situation where such a fall is probable or possible. <br />
<br />
I'm totally content with my life as it is. I have a great job, amazing luck in my housing situation, an incredible, growing family, and dreams the size of the Pacific Ocean -- what more can a girl ask of the world? Why should anyone want more than a situation that is already so unbelievably wonderful? <br />
<br />
It honestly feels selfish to wish for anything else. <br />
<br />
But as soon as I begin to relax, complacently is knocked over when someone reminds me of my lack. (Which starts a small cycle of guilt for being displeased at all with my life.) <br />
<br />
Recently a regular lunch conversation turned to the topic of dating -- as things usually do between young single people. The question of choosing someone to date was brought up and has led to more questions in my churning brain: How can you know in a short period of time whether someone will be a good match? Does it matter where you meet, what they wear, or initial conversation topics? Do high heels denote a lack of depth in character? What is a "spark" and how does one delineate between coarse friction and the perfect recipe for such an intense, desirable flash of light? What are good limits to campaign for and which are ones to keep more on the fence about? <br />
<br />
I am very Mormon. I attend church regularly, give a steady tithe of 10% of my income, I don't drink or do drugs, and I live in a conservative manner. I go to the temple as often as I am inclined -- which has been with some frequency since I moved about eight blocks from the Salt Lake temple.<br />
<br />
Recently the question has arisen of whether or not I ought to date someone who is not a member of the LDS church. It's not as easy a question as I thought. My sisters both dated outside the church. They both married the men they dated. One brother-in-law joined the church as a result of the relationship and one did not. The one who did join the church did so simply because he believed in it -- not because of the relationship. Our family introduced him to the church and the missionaries simply as a effort to educate him in our culture and show him a little of what my sister had grown up with. <br />
<br />
So, what about me? <br />
<br />
I thought about it really hard this year. And realized something quite important about myself: my religious beliefs are more than just Sunday observances; they explain the deepest parts of my character, expectations, and influence all of my decisions. Including the decision of whom to date. I realized that if I were to date someone who did not share my beliefs it would be inevitable heart break. Unless he was the kind of person who would is naturally inclined to accept the principles of the LDS church anyway -- in which case he would want to join the church, right? <br />
<br />
I don't know. It's not as cut and dry as I always thought. The one thing I do know and hold to with all I have: I will marry inside a temple and promise for this life as well as for eternity. That is my sincere desire and and is very firmly pressed into my heart. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWppDwNMCxQ6FzqTnVhTIbO-GdJjk-1Mwz968ybKMVCZwj1-vwwizrdh7zJoSXCNE57kpK_o10JtTe5zxBM0FKrmj8u43HEPyBuieesM7kc-mNHGQTZuM1lIQVlAe8OXnQvKElID-f2qE/s1600/Manti_Temple_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="234" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWppDwNMCxQ6FzqTnVhTIbO-GdJjk-1Mwz968ybKMVCZwj1-vwwizrdh7zJoSXCNE57kpK_o10JtTe5zxBM0FKrmj8u43HEPyBuieesM7kc-mNHGQTZuM1lIQVlAe8OXnQvKElID-f2qE/s320/Manti_Temple_5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Manti Temple</td></tr>
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As far as dating is concerned, I've sort of adopted the principle illustrated by the saying, "A watched pot never boils." Meaning, if I think too much about it or look too hard things will never get steamy. This often leads to being oblivious of opportunities to act and expedite the process (turn up the heat -- hubbah, hubbah!). But along the same line of thought, it's always been my belief that romances ought to proceed gradually -- becoming warmer incrementally until suddenly at a rolling boil. <br />
<br />
Ok. Enough of the water analogies. This is going to make me pee. Plus, it's just getting bad. <br />
<br />
I guess the main point of this post goes back to something a plasma donor told me. He said that I deserve to be with a nice man. While my initial reaction to that statement is to deny and assert my independent ability to take care of my own happiness completely, I think the wisdom of his words have sort of sunk in. When applied to others I can certainly, and very generously, wish all the happiness in the world to dear friends -- which includes finding the perfect match and helpmate. <br />
<br />
Maybe it's the right time for me. Maybe it's not. I don't know. All I know is that I've been thinking a lot about falling in love. And every day it seems to be getting closer. <br />
<br />
After all, I did get this fortune in my fortune cookie earlier this week: <br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicFns611MVCVtSyIOBnE2SS_zEKoZ_oE0mKjoQLVthjfb3EaRpIbEz6o0hq85IEzAzPFLVm8M4bqKSB3jjCdeFT0ONxMCADeoJ8yt68cHGNau7V2rRzZqSuV8MCvOjtmuVw3Q6bqKZjEA/s1600/fortune+cookie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicFns611MVCVtSyIOBnE2SS_zEKoZ_oE0mKjoQLVthjfb3EaRpIbEz6o0hq85IEzAzPFLVm8M4bqKSB3jjCdeFT0ONxMCADeoJ8yt68cHGNau7V2rRzZqSuV8MCvOjtmuVw3Q6bqKZjEA/s320/fortune+cookie.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture and directions found <a href="http://doityourselfcrafts.tumblr.com/post/325181298/fortune-cookie-fortune-cookie-ring">here</a>.</td></tr>
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<em>Passionate new romance appears in your life when you least expect it. </em><br />
<br />
Hubbah, hubbah!</div>zammityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13692249898826257258noreply@blogger.com1