Thursday Thought no. 3

My marital status in a nutshell:
Single.

But not lonely. I really do think it's ok to be alone for a bit. Helps a body to feel self sufficient. Helps a soul to rely on God more than man. Or lots of men. Or back to even just one man. There's no point in worrying about marital status. Even as a Mormon chick whose friends are mostly all married and working on families. My life plan is not the same as my friends' life plans. I am not them. I am me. I am enjoying being single. I am enjoying being independent. My soul is enjoying enlightenment. And there's nothing anyone can say that will change my mind.
For now.

Thursday Thought no. 2

Winter in a nutshell:
Cool.

Literally. It is soooo cool! But not really cold this year. We've only had a handful of days since November that have been cold enough to make nose hairs stick together. You know it's really cold when your nose hairs not only stick together but form tiny snot-cicles as you breath. Now, that's cold. I grew up in Quincy, IL, on the Mississippi River. It got cold there. We used to go shoe skating in puddles of ice that formed between the tracks of a runaway train stop. Wind chill from the humid air would make cold into soooo cold. When it was soooo cold the ice in the air would cut your skin and make it burn. When it's cold enough to burn you know it's really cold.
But in Utah, it's just soooo cool. And cool makes good powder in the mountains.

Thursday Thought no. 1

My life in a nutshell:
Awesome!

For instance: I get to play with a volunteer orchestra. This is my third partial season with the group. They let me play even though I sort of stink it up and ghost more than half of most songs. They let me come back for partial seasons. I have a place. There is no audition. I will never have to solo. I'm a better violinist than I was when I began playing with them in 2009. I'm a better violinist than when I was 18, vice president of my high school orchestra, president of an extra curricular strings ensemble, and practiced daily. I think this is because I have more confidence in myself as a human being. I think this is awesome. I think my life is awesome right now.

V-Day Is Looming

Hey, hey folks!

It's official:  Valentine's Day is less than a month away.

Since last year's cards were well received I've decided to make another very special batch of Zammity Valentines. I'm only going to make 20 cards this year, so if you want one post a comment here or leave your name and mailing address on a FB message to me.

Start thinking your lovey dovey thoughts, ladies and gentlemen and prepare to be amazing by what I have in store!

Parental Advice

Lately my parents have been full of advice concerning *blush* relationships.

Took me totally by surprise.

They've never brought up the subject before.

Can't imagine what has prompted this sudden onslaught.

Hahahahaha! Yeah, that was me being facetious. What other route can I really take, though? Depression lowers opportunities for *blush* relationships, so why get worked up over not having one? I choose, rather, to not think too much about it and concentrate instead on being happy with myself.

I read somewhere that the most powerful thing a girl can possess is a cheerful attitude. Being happy helps others to want to be around her. People are more likely to go out of their way to help someone who is smiling but will generally ignore someone who is in a bad mood.

So I work to be happy. And I have a lot to be happy about! I have family and friends who cherish me. I'm surrounded by daily affirmations that I'm in the right place at the right time of my life doing the right thing. What more can a girl do?

My dad's advice is always something that I try to forget as soon as it is heard. In high school he would tell me to act like a ditz. A Barbie doll with no brain. Show a little more skin and less cerebrum. Guys respond to a hot body. While that may all be true, I know that he only told me those things because there was no chance I'd actually do any of it. It's beneath me to prostitute my values for a date. *sticks up nose*

In my college years Dad's general tune was as devil's advocate. "Just go fornicate, Zarah! It's fuuuun!" Again, he knew it wasn't something I'd likely do for the sake of doing it.

Lately it's been a tired wish that arranged marriages were still in vogue. However, he can't seem to name any real candidates when I ask who I ought to marry. The only men he knows are ones who I've dismissed for good reason.

Sorry to disappoint you, Dad. Never thought this would be my biggest failure. *shrugs*
Recently in a conversation on this topic (which comes up every time I see/talk to him) my Dad gave some advice that may be worth investigating. He said, "All's fair in love and war. You have to be selfish."

Huh.

Selfish.

Can I do that?

I've tried before in relationships and have been disappointed. It hurts more when the investment is one sided. And it's horribly embarrassing when the ownership is one sided.

 I can be annoyingly selfish around my family. But that's because I know they will still love me. When it comes to anyone else I verge on being a push-over -- I give because I've been taught that generosity is the only way to win friends and influence people. However, no one respects a push-over. It's a fine line.

So, how does someone stake a claim on another's emotions and time?

In reading, attending lessons, firesides, and broadcasts on the subject, I've learned quite a lot about the theory of dating. But, like with most things, I have a hard time converting book knowledge to real life practice. Maybe I think too much about it all.

Anyway, here are a few things I've learned recently about relationships:

- The top quality men look for in women is "kindness."
- The top quality women look for in men is "faithful to me."
- Faith has everything to do with romance and should not be left out or disregarded.
- The best way to prepare for a relationship is to identify character traits that are necessary in a future partner and then focus on becoming someone who would attract such a person.
- A date is anything that is Planned ahead, Paid for, and Paired off.
- Do not tolerate anyone who "belittles you, is critical of you, who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor." Jeffery R. Holland
- Relationships will always take hard work. There's no such thing as having it "just happen."

So, can I be selfish? Hell yeah! This is a big choice and might take several wrong choices before the best option comes around, but it's worth it to be assertive.

Thanks Dad.

Of course, in the same conversation he did go on to tell me to find a man with lots of tattoos and a drinking problem just so long as he has man bits. . . So, I'm not sure how much he wants me to follow his advice. . .

Thanks, 2011

So far 2012 has been a right lazy year. I've spent most of it curled up in bed wearing fuzzy socks and pajamas. Mmmmm, fuzzy socks. I've watched a lot of Hulu, Netflix, and DVDs and I try to will my sinuses into foregoing what feels like impending infection. Stupid body parts. I'm currently watching ABBA music videos and trying to figure out how people in the '70's caked on so much make up without it flaking off in the slightest wind. I guess we will never know. . .

It's been a great year so far. I have a feeling it's going to be something else. So many amazing plans, so many people to meet, get to know better, and so many places to explore!

2011, all I have to say is, "Thank you."

And to all of you: thank you from the bottom of my heart.

On a related note: I'm throwing myself a big party on my birthday, January 7, and you are all invited!