Name This Post

What should this be called? Please weigh in, compete with each other, or just throw something out there!

Alls I know is that it cracks me up!

I Love Snow

I love snow.

When people complain and bash the snow, I am always quick to defend its loveliness. Perhaps it's my Scandinavian heritage. I don't know. I just love it.

Things I love about snow:

1.) Fresh snow crunches underfoot in the most satisfying manner.

2.) Snow can be brushed off so that it doesn't soak through your coat and into your bones like rain can -- rain never gives you a chance. I love rain too, though.

3.) When it snows the whole world goes quite and all of nature stops to pay heed to this most special precipitation.

4.) Snow ball fights, snow angels, Calvin and Hobbes style snowmen. Nuff said.

5.) It sparkles.

6.) Cold weather allows for the appreciation of warmth. And, oh, how I appreciate warmth!

7.) The air tastes cold and refreshing after it snows and breath hangs in a cloud of dense vapor.

8.) Sledding!

9.) Snow means it's time for hot chocolate and oven s'mores. Mmmm, oven s'mores.

10.) Standing still and watching the snow fall in crazy dance spirals back-lit by a yellow street lamp as all the world sleeps and a person can be alone but far from lonely wrapped in a thick blanket of water. Magic.

Here are a few photos I took today. I was positively giddy with delight all morning!

A Blizzard of Activity

Today was busy. The good kind of busy.

Driving through the snow from one activity to another, I got to participate in many things that make me happy. 

Our ward choir's Christmas program is coming along nicely. It's the most beautiful program I've participated in for years. I'm really excited to hammer out the bits and pieces and perform in a few weeks. The altos actually have good parts! I love when that happens.

We got to feed and entertain a group of family friends who are as near and dear to us as blood relatives. A feast of Autumn harvest goodies was enjoyed on our fancy dining room set -- picnic tables set in our new dining room. It was a lot of fun, actually. A nod to Victorian era dinner parties, "...we dine with four-and-twenty families." Next time I'll make seating arrangements to be sure that the group is mixed up and no spouses are sitting next to one another.

I had to dash from dinner early for a YSA meeting that found out I had missed. However, things just sort of worked out anyway.

None of the people I invited to this evening's activity showed up. Probably because it was snowing like mad outside and quite chilly. I don't blame them for staying wrapped up in the bosom of their families.

But, the people who did show up ended up being just the people I needed to talk to. I was able to get a lot off my chest that needed to be told to someone, good and bad. I was encouraged and uplifted in just the way I needed.

The group ended up consisting of two ward representative couples and myself. We went over my list of activities that I'd like to see happen with our stake YSA. We also discussed the current dating trends and why young people don't really date anymore. My ego was stoked when my personal dating history was divulged and all four members of my audience were appropriately taken aback by my lack of opportunity because, by all means, I seem to be a catch.

I left feeling like a 1+.

The snow was heavy and my car slipped a little on our temporary gravel drive but my heart was warm and my spirits high. I have a lot of work ahead of me for the next few months, but I'm excited and willing to take it all on.

This is going to be fun.

Come on, world. Bring me your tomorrows!

Sometimes things just don't work out.

Sometimes it's ok when things just don't work out.


All week I have been looking forward to getting together with friends from this summer. Planning was going really slowly because no one would commit to a meeting place, time, or activity. I offered literally dozens of possible choices but no one wanted to hazard any input.


I really wanted it to happen.


By Wednesday we were in a "hot mess." No plans were finalized and most of the people who said they were coming probably wouldn't be able to check Facebook for updates. I kept on, though, feeling that if were just able to figure out a time and place to meet, everything else would fall into place.


Nothing was falling into place.


Sometimes it's better to just accept that something is a little off and no matter the effort, it can't work anyway so it's better to just stop trying.


Everyone always has their own plans that must coordinate just right in order for everything to work .


I have thrown a lot of parties in the past. Playing the role of hostess is a lot of fun for me -- I love seeing other people having a great time -- it makes me feel good. However, if an event is scheduled at the same time or the same day as another event, then it forces people to make a choice between the two things. This can be really difficult.


When I was 17 my siblings and I began planning an awesome Halloween party at the beginning of September. We portioned off bits of the family budget and began stockpiling decorations and party food for the event weeks in advance. I hand made invitations with detailed monsters on the front -- each one unique. In order to host the party at all my mom made sure that the little kids got a party too. So, we scheduled the kid party in the early afternoon and the teen party for the evening.


I really wanted the party to happen and to be a success.


By the time the kids party was over, I was a wreck. Exhausted from entertaining a bunch of elementary kids all afternoon with pin the organ on the zombie and other such games I had made up, I was not in a very good mood.


When the teens began to arrive, my spirits rose. I really wanted to impress my friends and have a good time.


Only two of my invited guests arrived.


You see, there were several other activities going on the same night. While my siblings' friends were all free to attend our party, my friends were busy.


I ended up spending most of the evening a grumpy mess and my two friends left early because I was not being a very good hostess.


In short, it was a disaster.


Since then, I have learned to feel things out before planning an event. Quite often, a little communication goes a long way in making something work out to suit everyone involved. However, everyone must be willing to put their two cents in and not simply assume that someone else will speak up.


I've also learned to enjoy the party, even when things don't turn out as expected. That's part of the fun.


So, tonight I took a nice little drive into Salt Lake by myself and a nice little drive back. All by myself the whole time.


The city is beautiful at Christmas time. Gateway is one of my very favorite places with the trees all lit, colorful displays in every window, and the fountain splashing in time to music piped through speakers strategically placed around the plaza.


While it may have been more fun to walk through the street with friends, it was pretty darn great just walking at my own pace and watching all of the other people who may or may not have showed up anyway.


Sometimes it really is ok when things just don't work out.


Hopefully we can plan something else in the future. If we do, maybe I'll be free to attend but maybe I won't. We'll have to see. If that is the case, you be I'll be offering alternate plans that suit mine better or rearranging things to make it happen.


I'd really like for it to happen.


To be completely honest, it's not the event that makes me want it all to happen, or even most of the people. I really want this all to work out so I can see a few specific people. One in particular. But sometimes it's ok when things just don't work out.

Black Friday: Shack Friday

So, I was compelled to work Black Friday at the local Radio Shack.

We were supposed to be there at 5:30am but arrived late because Mom's truck had to be pushed onto the shoulder and towed home. RIP.

The thing that really made this Black Friday memorable was not the four year old who won the XBox 360 in a raffel. It was not the child who wanted to touch everything and nearly broke my Prime8 display unit. It was not the free hot dogs that made the store smell like a crazy cat lady's apartment. 

No. Those things will fade from my memory, sure enough, with time. 

What really made this Black Friday memorable to me was the reminder of how awesome I am at selling things.  

I know that I lack humility in saying this, but I can push product!

When I was a kid my sister and I split a paper route. We mainly delivered papers to a community of elderly citizens who lived a few blocks away from our house. Sunday papers were always massively bloated with ads and the double front/back pockets would bulge with a weight comparable to my own at eleven years old. In the summer it was hot and tiring work. Putting up with the crazy dogs and particular -- and peculiar -- residents. By the time winter rolled around, with the icy wind that penetrated even the most carefully insulated costume of thermals and snow gear, we had just about had enough.

We were paid about 50 cents per paper delivered per day. With 53 papers to deliver on our route we made only 53 dollars every two weeks. Then we split it.

At Christmas time the Quincy Herold Whig gave us calenders for the upcoming year to "sell" to the residents on our route. This was to be our Christmas bonus.

I knocked on doors as I delivered papers and explained to the residents that I was selling the calenders and would appreciate anything they chose to pay after the cost of printing. 

From this I learned a few things: Most people's houses smell funny. Some old people collect dolls -- the ones that look remarkably like toddlers are really creepy. Scary dogs are even more scary up close -- even if they have had their teeth removed. The crankiest person on the route is probably just lonely and really does have a good reason for insisting that their paper is placed in a very particular place. I can sell things.

Of those who were home and chose to open their door to cold little girl, I collected a pretty penny -- much more per house than I got for leaving their daily paper. Halfway through the route I started feeling bad and chose to put off the beg-a-thon. The people were nice and everything, but stepping into one more house that smelled of soup was not on my to-do list that evening. Plus, I was worried about being murdered, but that's a story for another day.

Working the candy counter for the local drive in movie theater I was very adept at getting customers to splurge on the combo deal for two large drinks, a medium popcorn and a candy -- it's like getting the candy for free. I'd also suggest that you get a sno cone for only $1, or perhaps you'd like a licorice whip for the kids to share. Feeling like more than just a bag of popcorn, but don't want to get a hot dog for each person? How about splitting a pizza? It's made fresh (frozen pizza baked real fast in a pizza oven) and I'll deliver it straight to you if you want to go out and enjoy the movie while it's cooking!

 If the chips were going stale we would suddenly have a lot of call for nachos -- I'd also make sure to pack them with all of the chips I could shove in one container. If I'd just popped a fresh batch of popcorn, you'd better bet that I was going to get rid of it by pointing out how hot and fresh it was!

For a girl who had a hard time looking people in the eye and was relearning how to smile at the age of 16, I could really push product.

I generally use my talent to sell things that also help people feel like they have performed their good deed for the day. Charity races. Sugar cookies with proceeds going to charity. Coupon books with proceeds going toward sending the orchestra to an out of state competition. Girl Scout cookies with proceeds going to the local troop -- oh, wait, I didn't do so hot on that one because someone usurped my territory. Who needs to be a Girl Scout, anyway?

Today I helped sell toys. Toys for greedy children who don't really need more toys. Toys from Santa/MomandDad. Toys with cool names that do fun things and have expansion packs sold separately and require batteries that are not included.

I love toys.

It's easy to sell something that you love because the customer can sense when someone is lying about how awesome something really is -- it's like evolution has equipped consumers with a 6th sense for being cheated.

But I don't cheat people. I point out the amazing deals and get them to buy really cool stuff that will keep their kids entertained for at least the remainder of Christmas break -- after opening presents and before shuffling off to school again.

I did it to help my parent's store. I did it because I was bored of dusting shelves. I did it because I attended the Radio Shack expo this summer and got the play with the products first hand. I did it because it was fun.

Demonstrating the Hexbug Nano and Habitat was by far my favorite thing of the day. Hexbugs are just plain cool. The Nano is about an inch long and just vibrates on tiny rubber feet that propel the bug in one direction with the single-minded purpose of doing one thing: going forward. When multiple Nanos are put in the Habitat to maneuver the tight corridors and little rooms it's really fun to watch them and see which one has enough umph to push the others around. It's mesmerizing. I got kids and adults hooked on the little gizmos. At 50% off, you really can't beat the price of a Habitat set which includes two Nanos. Particularly when the sale price is less than the cost of two Nanos on their own -- it's like getting the Habitat for free. 

Too bad the sale ended today. 

You should have bought one in Tooele.

I would have sold it to you and not felt bad at all.

Thanksgiving Day Lists

Things I've been thinking about today:

1.) If you are skyping with two different groups of people on two different computers and face those two computers toward one another, the two parties can skype one another too.

2.) I make a mean turkey gravy. Mmmm.

3.) Creme brulee is a cinch. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

4.) 4am is the armpit of the day: it's damp and it smells. Radio Shack is opening its doors at 5:30 and guess who has to be there to help bag people's treasures? I really, really don't want to get up that early particularly because I will not be paid to do so. Ah well, duty calls. Wanna take bets on how quickly I can get out of there? I'm hoping to leave by 7.

5.) The sound of snow crunching under foot is like joy trapped under a boot that is released with every step. I happen to love sound of joy escaping heavy boots.

6.) I played my violin tonight for the first time in a while and although my fingers were really cold and stiff, it somehow sounded pretty good. Huh.

7.) Looking forward to turkey turnovers. Definitely a favorite holiday food. Mmmmm.

8.) I sang Christmas songs today. I am not ashamed.

9.) My mom and I made Thanksgiving dinner, as we generally do on Thanksgiving, and not once did either of us consult a recipe. I've even memorized the recipes for creme brulee and cranberry sauce.

10.) We saw a big red fox/wolf/coyote (not sure which) in our neighbor's field. All I could think of was the score to Peter and the Wolf.

Thanks: things for which I am grateful

1.) Being warm is a taken for granted far too often. Especially by me.

2.) Naps

3.) Good people do exist in the world. I'm related to a bunch of them and I am friends with a bunch more.

4.) Prayers

5.) Motorized transportation. I can't even imagine relying on either my feet or an animal to get me where I want to go -- I zip around too much to be so limited.

6.) Good food. Just having food at all is a blessing, but going beyond nourishment and really enjoying everything consumed in a day is a wonderful blessing that many people all over the world miss out on. What a shame.

7.) Modern technology and health care. Two thousand years ago if someone broke their leg it was very likely that they could either die from it or become lame for the rest of their lives. Depression, cancer, and diabetes have existed, essentially, forever. What did people do about them even just 200 years ago?

8.) Limitations. Because they teach me about my freedoms.

9.) The internet. So much information, all available to satisfy any whim or fancy.

10.) A job. I start in 11 days.

Thoughts from the Mind of a Dating Failure

Single and Steadfast: Lessons in Hope


By Christine S. Packard and Wendy Ulrich

This article from the 2008 Ensign has been on my mind quite a bit over the last few days. I found the magazine in a pile of forgotten rubble and pulled it out because of this cover story.  In reading the four pages I repeatedly stated, "That's me!" to several of the scenarios and unfortunate realities.

An interesting tid-bit: the most popular posts on this site are the ones in which the word "dating" appears in the title. From that I surmise that my very small group of readers is interested in dating, or at least what pretend to be, so I'll give you all a peek into my head on this topic once again.

LDS singles have been taught to look forward to being married and having a family as the most significant feature of adult life. Progression, happiness, temple blessings, and the very path to exaltation all seem dependent on the attainment of a marriage relationship. When years pass and marriage does not occur, some singles may feel an expanding sense of intangible loss. Family members, friends, Church leaders, and singles themselves may worry that feelings of loss are a reflection of insufficient faith or righteousness. They may also be concerned that adjusting beliefs about roles and life status will challenge testimony or reduce future prospects for marriage.


There really is a sense of loss very similar to the grieving process after losing a loved one, only, the loved one is someone who hasn't been introduced to your life just yet. There are times when I am perfectly happy with the successes in my life until the thought hits me: when my mom was my age she had been married for four years and was pregnant with me, her third child. Although it is an irrational thought, the idea that I should be on the same path should have accomplished so much more on the social front can be very disheartening. It was made worse when spiritual progression was tacked onto social progression by church leaders, friends, and family. One of my BYU stakes refused to talk to any single young lady seeking to receive the temple endowment if she was not A.) engaged, B.) preparing to serve a mission, or C.) over the age of 25. With a strong desire to progress in that way but not meeting any of the arbitrary criteria (there is no such rule within the church in general, it was just in that particular stake) I felt damned in my spiritual progress.

This led to feelings of unworthiness and a lack of righteousness -- feelings that were false and only served to bring me down. I got to the point where I had to seriously consider my testimony of the temple and of church leadership. I asked many questions, prayed, searched church doctrine, and eventually found solace. Most of this testimony building occurred after moving back to my home ward where my bishop was more than happy to discuss the prospect of my attending the temple for myself. 

I had many talks with my father who did not understand why I would want to go through the temple before marriage. He told me out right that he did not support my choice. When I confronted him with this statement he didn't have a good answer for why he felt that way. This was very hard for me to accept and led to many hours of study and prayer to discover if my dad's reasons held any merit and whether I ought to consider postponing my temple preparations for a time that suited the church's social norm.

It wasn't until after I had completely separated temple readiness from all social aspects that I was able to feel confident in my choice to pursue further covenants with my Savior through temple ordinances.
I'm very glad that it happened not in connection to other big events in my life but as a separate action. This is what works for me and may not work for everyone.

The normal sadness with which people acknowledge feelings of loss can lead to appropriate expressions such as praying, journal writing, requesting priesthood blessings, and asking for empathy, validation, and support. When friends or family send messages to singles that they should “try harder,” that they aren’t doing enough to promote dating opportunities, or that they should think about happier things, singles may feel blocked rather than helped in their efforts to move forward to positive goals and interests.

There is a difference between accepting a feeling as legitimate and real and being defined by that feeling. Often, real feelings deepen and expand when they are minimized or ignored. When singles experience feelings of loss, if they and those close to them will acknowledge and accept the feelings as simply real, singles can more readily transcend the pain and avoid defining themselves by their marital status or their feelings. They can then start to feel more confident, get their emotional bearings, and begin to consider healthy questions and options. For instance, singles might ask themselves, “What exactly am I feeling right now?” rather than imagining what they might feel if their singleness persists.

Prayerfully assessing which aspects of being single are particularly difficult at this time can keep the hurt from becoming overpowering. In this process it is important to separate what genuinely hurts at the moment from messages of fear singles may give themselves about the future. For example, when attending her sister’s wedding, a single woman may feel hurt at not having found a husband yet, but she can resist thinking she will never have an eternal marriage. It can be difficult to restrain those feelings, but working to do so is helpful.

When I'm upset about something my habit is to talk it out. Talking gives me a way to sort, express, and validate my ideas and feelings based on the ideas and feelings of another person. I will often change my mind several times before figuring out how I really feel about a particular subject -- and that is given to change based on new information.

I've noticed that nearly every conversation I have with a close friend near my age eventually turns to the dating topic. All of my journals from college are littered with pontifications on the dating topic. When I pray, my discussions with the Lord will almost always contain some reference to the dating topic.

This is a big deal in my life and in the lives of thousands of single members in the church. If you are a YSA and have not had the your dating life thoroughly examined by well-meaning married members of homewards or singles ward bishoprics, then you probably haven't been a YSA for long.

Ever since dating became something attractive to me I have been told that I'm not trying hard enough to make it happen. If I wore more make up, flirted more aggressively, acted like a ditz, or simply chose a boy to actively pursue then it all ought to fall into place. The trouble is: I like the fact that I don't have to wear a lot of make up because my skin is good on its own. Flirting is personal thing and cannot be faked without becoming a fake. Ditzes may get dates, but no one really wants to hang around with someone with a brain the size of a walnut -- pretty only gets you so far. I've tried pursuing guys and have only become jaded and disheartened by the experiences. While it is true that everyone needs to be encouraged in building the foundation for a relationship, one-sided interest always fails.

For my entire student career at BYU I felt as though my lack of dating success singled me out as a failure. During the application process I had to meet with my stake president for ecclesiastical endorsement. We talked about my educational goals and how I wanted to plow on through my undergrad and attend medical school as soon as possible. My stake president told me to reconsider and put more emphasis on dating and searching for a spouse.

I felt as though I had just failed an important exam -- the test of life.

When my parents dropped me off for school my freshman year my date told me two things: There is a fine line between love and hate -- sometimes the people we love most become those we hate most when the relationship is over. And, I wasn't allowed to get engaged the first semester.

My parents and my church leaders expected me to date.

Dating is a huge part of the social scene at BYU. We are encouraged during every stake conference and from ward leadership nearly every week to get out there and date one another.

By the end of my freshman year I had suffered a horrible heartache caused by an attempt to pursue a very nice boy simply wasn't interested. This drama, stretched out over many agonizing months, put me in a slump that affected my physical, mental, and academic health. Of course other factors such as the strenuous university curriculum, being away from home for the first time ever, feelings of loneliness, and unresolved issues of  my past also played a huge role in my mindset and ultimate emotional crash. Unable to identify why I felt so crummy all the time, but with every intention to live up to the standards and expectations of my family, church, and school I continued to press on for the remainder of my time at BYU in a horrible depression that snowballed as each semester brought new stresses and no resolution to any of my worries. It wasn't until after I left school, did something completely on my own for the first time ever, and came to terms with childhood demons that I finally pulled out of my own pit of despair and saw life for what it is: good.

However, while in that slump my attention always seemed to pulled to my lack of dating experience. Dating was the monster I on which I blamed all of my problems.

 During a particularly bad summer I was spending all of my time watching movies rather than studying for my organic chemistry classes. At what felt like an all time low, a book in the bookstore caught my eye. It was written by a BYU professor who taught LDS Marriage and Family -- a class I had taken a few semesters previous. Intrigued by way in which the book targeted single girls at BYU and offered advice specific to this category, I purchased it and poured over the pages until each one had been thoroughly examined.

One chapter suggests an exercise in which the reader takes a few moments to make a list of things she does well and to acknowledge how wonderful she is on her own. I stared at that page in disbelief. How could I do something so impossible as complimenting myself? There was nothing of merit that I could note. That's when I realized that I didn't love myself. If I couldn't love myself, how could I expect someone else?

I wasn't pretty enough, tall enough, thin enough, my boobs were too big, I was too short, awkward, dumb, or unrefined to be attractive. I wasn't worth dating so that's why I could never get dates. Since I could never get dates I was a failure at life and would never amount to anything. Since I would never amount to anything I shouldn't try. If I wasn't trying then I would never get dates and would never amount to anything. . . This mode of thought was an endless cycle of venom that ran my nerves ragged.
I could never pinpoint why I felt so terrible because I was always assessing the wrong thing and putting blame on a related, but less significant aspect of life. The real culprit lay in the fact that I didn't like myself very much. Once I realized this it was much easier to find things that helped me to forgive my shortcomings and find merit in things that may be of little significance over all.

I can honestly say that I do love who I am and I look forward to becoming who I will be.

Prayerfully assessing which aspects of being single are particularly difficult at this time can keep the hurt from becoming overpowering. In this process it is important to separate what genuinely hurts at the moment from messages of fear singles may give themselves about the future. For example, when attending her sister’s wedding, a single woman may feel hurt at not having found a husband yet, but she can resist thinking she will never have an eternal marriage. It can be difficult to restrain those feelings, but working to do so is helpful.


There have been so many times that I have walked campus and noted the googly-eyed couples with disgust. A strong desire to break apart couple's expressions of affection via interdigitation red-rover style would nearly over come me when they were spotted in my path. I'd sneer at love birds engaging in any form of public displays of affection and gleefully hope that it wouldn't work out so that we could all be in the same heartbroken boat together.

When I started getting wedding invitations and then baby announcements for girls younger than myself, feelings of inadequacy would stop me in my tracks. Why is she able to progress in this way? Is she really ready for the commitment of marriage? Will she really make a good mother? What does she have that I lack?

There have been long stretches during which I didn't even try to reign in my cynicism and I would voice critiques of other people's characters, unkindly pointing out their shortcomings to mutual friends and promoting the sharing of similar stories.

This was a poisonous addiction I held. While I could see that dwelling on such things and voicing them over and over again only made me unhappy, I would often note with horror that the word vomit was about to spew and it could not be stopped. Only a masochistic satisfaction resided in the hollowness I felt after such an expectoration.

I never hated the happy couples. I never really wanted them to break up -- that would be sad. I never really understood why one girl who seemed quite naive could get a husband when I couldn't even get a date.

I envied all of them.

It wasn't so much that I wanted that particular guy or that particular situation, in fact, I can honestly say that I never wanted someone else's man or the exact circumstances that led to their relationship for myself. I envied their happiness. I was jealous of everyone else's apparent confidence and love for themselves. This isn't something that can be given to you; it must be learned and earned through hard work, perseverance and positive thinking.

In some cases, singles might make things worse by interpreting what their singleness says about them. For instance, dateless evenings mean only that one is not currently seeing someone. They do not mean one is unlovable, will never have a meaningful life, or must not be very righteous. Singles and their loved ones can acknowledge painful feelings and fears as a genuine experience while moving toward more hopeful and objective thinking.

I worried constantly over what it meant to be single still. How do people see me because I'm 23 and have never been part of a real relationship? What will people think if they find out that I'm nearly 24 and have never been kissed? First kisses are, like, dating 101 -- they ought to happen during the teen years, not mid twenties!

I still worry about these things. I'd hate to disappoint someone by not being good enough at something in which the average teenager is proficient.


Whenever I'm asked about my dating status, I answer, "Oh, I'm not currently seeing anyone in particular," so as to throw them off the scent of my lameness at dating and open the assumption that I may have been dating someone recently.

I used to think that if I prayed hard enough social blessings would come. After praying every day for years and still not getting the hang of interpersonal relationships I began to wonder whether it was my lack of righteousness that prevented the answers I wanted from reaching me.

The truth is: answers to prayers nearly always come about in relation to specific actions on the part of the asker/questioner. God does not simply "make" something happen because we ask for it to be. The truth is: I was getting my answers -- just not in the way I anticipated.

The truth is: The Lord has showed me in many ways that my offerings are acceptable.

The truth is: Connections with other people take time, hard work, and a whole lot of luck paired with an eye fixed to spot every day miracles.

While it is difficult to hear that I'm not working hard enough to progress toward marriage and a family of my own, recent lessons have opened my eyes to just how far I have come already. I need to work on my sense of patience and compassion to play the waiting game.

I'm ready for it whenever things seem right.

I'll get there.

Someday.

If you are in the same boat, I have full confidence that you can make it too.

Someday.