Life Uh-huh!

I sniffed a baby scalp today.

It smelled like perfection.

It belongs to my little sisters little boy. I'm so proud of her and of my big sister for birthing two wonderful little guys this fall. They're just three weeks apart and look pretty similar. I figure that they will either be best friends or biggest competitors.

Growing a family is so hard but seems to pay pretty good dividends. Maybe I'll invest in that in the future.

So that storm I mentioned a few posts ago...yeah, I think it's set in. It's funny how you get super busy with all aspects of life at exactly the same moment.

Here's my list for the next week:
Church calling
visiting teaching
find a new roommate
write a letter of recommendation
request letters of recommendation
sign up for classes to retake
figure out how to pay for said classes
work on applications for my Masters
cuddle a baby
pay bills
work . . . a lot
figure out Christmas gifts for my British family so my parents can take it overseas and I won't have to pay shipping
breath
use up my Netflix free trial offer so I won't be too sad when I have to discontinue instead of paying for it
sleep so I don't get sick
read a book so Dad can stop asking me if I've read it yet
eat a lot of ramen
go to the temple
pray
figure out which schools I'm applying to for sure
pray some more
finish a story I began to write
clean my room
scrub my bathtub
breath
figure out my schedule for the next six months so I can work in volunteer hours
pray even more

I know my list isn't really that bad. It just feels like a lot. Especially since I've sort of checked out on responsibilities for a while because it just feels so good to not worry.

It's funny but I wasn't excited for Halloween this year. It's my very favorite holiday and I just couldn't muster a spark of enthusiasm. I dressed up, went to parties, carved my pumpkins, made pumpkin seeds, baked a lot of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and went to the pumpkin patch. But it just felt empty.

No, this year I'm much more excited for Christmas! I'm excited to put up the enormous tree in my parent's front room. Hot chocolate and peppermint sticks are calling my name. The lights at Temple Square seem to be my very favorite place. Snow! Lot's of snow and skiing! I want to wake up Christmas morning and make Swedish pancakes in my pajamas. I want to fulfill every Christmas tradition out there. And then make some up!

That's all. I'm going to go watch a Christmas movie or two.

Tootles!

Everyday

Everyday it's a-gettin' closer
Goin' faster than a roller coaster
Love like yours will surely come my way
A-hey, a-hey-hey
Everyday it's a-gettin' faster
Everyone said, go ahead and her
A-hey, a-hey-hey
Everyday seems a little longer
Every way love's a little stronger
Come what may
Do you ever long for, true love from me
Everyday it's a-gettin' closer
Goin' faster than a roller coaster
Love like yours will surely come my way
A-hey, a-hey-hey

Everyday seems a little longer
Every way love's a little stronger
Come what may
Do you ever long for, true love from me
Everyday it's a-gettin' closer
Goin' faster than a roller coaster
Love like yours will surely come my way
A-hey, a-hey-hey
Love like yours will surely come my way

Santa Monica Pier, May 2011

I've been thinking a lot about falling in love lately. Maybe it's just the season. You know. Fall is for falling in love, right? And I adore everything about Fall, so why not love too?

The problem is: I can't seem to visualize myself in the type of situation where such a fall is probable or possible.

I'm totally content with my life as it is. I have a great job, amazing luck in my housing situation, an incredible, growing family, and dreams the size of the Pacific Ocean -- what more can a girl ask of the world? Why should anyone want more than a situation that is already so unbelievably wonderful?

It honestly feels selfish to wish for anything else.

But as soon as I begin to relax, complacently is knocked over when someone reminds me of my lack. (Which starts a small cycle of guilt for being displeased at all with my life.)

Recently a regular lunch conversation turned to the topic of dating -- as things usually do between young single people. The question of choosing someone to date was brought up and has led to more questions in my churning brain: How can you know in a short period of time whether someone will be a good match? Does it matter where you meet, what they wear, or initial conversation topics? Do high heels denote a lack of depth in character? What is a "spark" and how does one delineate between coarse friction and the perfect recipe for such an intense, desirable flash of light? What are good limits to campaign for and which are ones to keep more on the fence about?

I am very Mormon. I attend church regularly, give a steady tithe of 10% of my income, I don't drink or do drugs, and I live in a conservative manner. I go to the temple as often as I am inclined -- which has been with some frequency since I moved about eight blocks from the Salt Lake temple.

Recently the question has arisen of whether or not I ought to date someone who is not a member of the LDS church. It's not as easy a question as I thought. My sisters both dated outside the church. They both married the men they dated. One brother-in-law joined the church as a result of the relationship and one did not. The one who did join the church did so simply because he believed in it -- not because of the relationship. Our family introduced him to the church and the missionaries simply as a effort to educate him in our culture and show him a little of what my sister had grown up with.

So, what about me?

I thought about it really hard this year. And realized something quite important about myself: my religious beliefs are more than just Sunday observances; they explain the deepest parts of my character, expectations, and influence all of my decisions. Including the decision of whom to date. I realized that if I were to date someone who did not share my beliefs it would be inevitable heart break. Unless he was the kind of person who would is naturally inclined to accept the principles of the LDS church anyway -- in which case he would want to join the church, right?

I don't know. It's not as cut and dry as I always thought. The one thing I do know and hold to with all I have: I will marry inside a temple and promise for this life as well as for eternity. That is my sincere desire and and is very firmly pressed into my heart.

Manti Temple

As far as dating is concerned, I've sort of adopted the principle illustrated by the saying, "A watched pot never boils." Meaning, if I think too much about it or look too hard things will never get steamy. This often leads to being oblivious of opportunities to act and expedite the process (turn up the heat -- hubbah, hubbah!).  But along the same line of thought, it's always been my belief that romances ought to proceed gradually -- becoming warmer incrementally until suddenly at a rolling boil.

Ok. Enough of the water analogies. This is going to make me pee. Plus, it's just getting bad.

I guess the main point of this post goes back to something a plasma donor told me. He said that I deserve to be with a nice man. While my initial reaction to that statement is to deny and assert my independent ability to take care of my own happiness completely, I think the wisdom of his words have sort of sunk in. When applied to others I can certainly, and very generously, wish all the happiness in the world to dear friends -- which includes finding the perfect match and helpmate.

Maybe it's the right time for me. Maybe it's not. I don't know. All I know is that I've been thinking a lot about falling in love. And every day it seems to be getting closer.

After all, I did get this fortune in my fortune cookie earlier this week:

Picture and directions found here.

Passionate new romance appears in your life when you least expect it.

Hubbah, hubbah!

The Calm Before The Storm

Have you ever wondered at how amazing life can be? Have you ever felt as though your "cup runneth over" and there's no end in sight to just how many blessings will be showered down? Have you ever felt perfectly content and blissfully happy with life?

I have.

I do.

But I know from experience that this calm and peaceful state is temporary. The storm is on it's way -- the butterfly's wing has fluttered on some remote island and air molecules are becoming super charged, bumping into one another on an inevitable path of destruction.

I know it's coming.

It always does.

But I chose to put that out of mind and just enjoy the warmth and amazing state of comfort in which I am currently basking.

I love my family.

I love my God.

I love my job, friends, house, roommates, and life.

Things are so good and I can't ask for more.

Now is not the time for worry but time for enjoyment. These are the moments we live for -- the moments when you don't have to wait to be happy but can simply "be" in the moment and that is enough.

Just thought I'd share.

A Whole New World

I've completely rearranged my life and it feels pretty good! In fact, I'm head over heels in love with my new life!


Step 1) Got a new job. I said goodbye to the plasma donors and hello to pediatrics. I'm still jabbing people with needles but now they cry more. However, I get to choose my own bathroom breaks! Oh the luxury! Plus, it's far more rewarding to help sick kids get better and I love pulling up to the huge hospital every day instead of a little brick building surrounded by taco carts. (Let it be noted that tacos from a cart cooked by someone who cannot speak English are some of the best food on the planet -- as long as they don't give you food poisoning).


Step 2) Moved away from home. That's right, after a two year stint of on again off again home dwelling I have finally moved away from the family bosom! While I don't love paying rent, insurance, and grocery bills on principle, it does feel nice to be providing for myself. I now reside in a quaint 100 year old house in the Avenues of SLC! My room used to be a back porch that was redone in the 70's or so with real wood panelling on two of the walls and half of the ceiling. There's no closet, but I do have a sink! In the main part of the house we have an enormous front room with a study off to the side and a dining room. We also have a gas burning stove and a Modern Maid oven straight from the 1960's!

Step 3) Began attending a YSA ward again. Those of you who know me well will know that I do not like the meat market mentality of most single's wards. I have skillfully avoided them for the last two years but must now resign myself to regularly mixing with other Young Single Adults during my time of worship. *sigh* It's a good change, but it does make me nervous. After having attended for two weeks now I can state that there are no ogres in the congregation. In fact, it is comprised of delightful and attractive human beings -- children of our Heavenly Father who just want to be loved. And luckily they just reorganized all of the leadership so there is only a small possibility for any kind of leadership role to squiggle into my hands. *sigh* It's a good change, and there is room for growth. 

There are blessed few opportunities in a person's life to start over again. As it happens, I've just been given one. I'll do my best to make it worth something. 

A pleasant surprise as I've been unpacking all of the things that have surrounded me for years: everything fits and looks marvelous together in my new station in life. Tender mercies.  

Remembering

"Never go through life saying 'I should have.' If you want to do something, you do it."

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow: Job Interviews

A little different from the original Shirelle's version I love, Amy Winehouse's verision is certianly notable as well!

I officially started my new job at Primary Children's Medical Center this morning! After a day sitting in the same place, I'm itching to get out and see what there is to see and do what there is to be done!

The last two weeks at Biomat were very difficult. While I've been absolutely ecstatic about the new job, it's hard to leave friends and a company that has treated me pretty well. They gave me a job when it seemed that no one else would. My experiences there were certainly beneficial and I feel a better person because of my work with plasmapheresis and plasma donors. I've never had to leave a job before. My contract has always expired, the season has ended, or there was an understanding that I'd be leaving for school again in the fall. Putting in two weeks notice and writing a letter of resignation was odd to say the least. s

While I have little experience leaving a job, I must admit that I have plenty of experience being rejected from job opportunities. My very favorite job to date was working as a Lab TA for the Anatomy department at BYU. The material was mastered and class aced, but my confidence was very low and I wound up applying four separate times (that's four separate semesters) before they accepted me. And you know what? I was good! I really was! I was good because I loved it. I was good because I had to fight to get there. I was good because no matter what I kept up the pep and passion for learning and did my darnedest to convey those things to my students. That's what made the job so awesome!

So, for every job interview I'm lucky enough to be invited into I arrive with the same determination and drive I carried into my anatomy teaching.

"I am the best! Just Let me show you! And if I'm not, I'll do everything in my power to become such!"

While managers tend to like my resume just fine, they are usually impressed most by my interview skills. Here are a few tips:

- Pray
- Scope out the interview place ahead of time so that you can arrive a few minutes early and keep your nerves in check.
- Pray
- Smile. A lot. A lot, a lot. It shows that you are friendly and comfortable. Remember, they are hiring someone they want to see every day. In a death match between Smiling Suzy and Debbie Downer, the smile will win every time because of popularity and crowd support. The poor downer dies alone and destitute in the street because she couldn't get a job since no one wanted to be around her. It's a sad tale. :(
- Pray
- Anticipate questions that may be asked and have a rough answer ready to be tweaked on spot for specific working.
- Pray
- Be concise. Keep responses short and sweet. I have a tendency to ramble (as if you can't tell) so I try really hard during an interview to say as few words as possible. It's ok to have empty air between questions. That's part of how they can determine your response to stress.
- Pray
- Always end on a high note. If they ask about your weaknesses, tell them truthfully but then mention a related strength. I'll say it again -- Always end on a high note.
- Pray

The most important thing for me, as an LDS girl trying to live in accordance with what the Lord wants for me, is to invite the Spirit in that interview too. It helps me to feel calm, comfortable and collected. That's why I "interview very well."

So, I'm off to bed at 8pm so I can get up at 3am and make it to work by 4:30am. Hopefully I'll still love my job tomorrow.

Wish me luck as I go off to steal blood from infants!

Ta-ta!

Let's Talk About "It"

Albrecht Durer, 1504

My youngest brother and sister recently attended a ward Youth Conference full of fun, sun, and warnings against intimacy. Not too long ago this same group was subjected to a fireside wherein hand holding was likened to a gateway drug to fornication. We've been hearing stories about increasingly more frequent admonitions to youth about avoiding intimacy entirely before marriage. Most of these stories include cringe-worthy analogies about chewed bubble gum or smelly sneakers.

This needs to stop.

It doesn't work.

It simply makes some afraid of all things tender and excites others to taste of the "forbidden fruits."

In college I was introduced to talk by Elder Jeffery R. Holland given in a BYU devotional in 1988. It literally changed the way I thought about sex. It is my opinion that this talk should be pasted into every Young Men's and Young Women's manual around the world. It's tender, thoughtful, and just "right."

Of Souls Symbols and Sacraments

After a rash of weddings for close friends and the associated bridal showers and bachelorettes, it feels ever so much more important to talk about these things before the anticipated hour. Let us be educated, reach out, and tenderly educate those around us. Sex is more than just the gratification of a physical need. It is very special and should be approached with respect.

Not that I know anything. I'm just a Molly Mormon virginal old maid.

Here

This site is very interesting and provides a necessary sounding board for the discussion of sex amongst LDS men and women -- but mostly women.