Mormon Baseball Metaphor

In college my friends had a little game that roommates and close friends enjoy the benefits of those in love. It involves sharing food when some little progress has been made in your dating relationship. The expense of the food roughly equals the magnitude of the progress.

Like this:

Holding hands -- M&Ms
First kiss -- Ice cream
First make out -- Pizza party
Engagement -- Steak dinner

By the time the engagements started happening my friends were all long past this game. Unfortunately, I've never had occasion to share even a humble plain chocolate M&M with anyone.

*sad face*

Actually, I've saved myself a lot of money and heartache while enjoying plenty of ice cream and pizza parties! Hahahahaha, suckers!

Today, because it is the Week of Love and cupid is buzzing around, I was thinking of the baseball metaphor for gettin' some lovin' and of how it's so confusing for LDS people. Let's face it, if you're living the religion, you don't go past first base!

So I figured I'd revise this metaphor to be pre-marriage-Mormon-friendly.

Here goes:

First base: Hug
Second base: Holding hands
Third base: Kissing!!
Home run: Making out!! (Kissing for an extended period of time.)

Ooh, la, la! With bases like these, we should all hit the cold showers!

In all seriousness, these are things that we celebrate -- mostly in small ways -- because it should mean something. It should be a symbol of mutual respect and admiration.

For that matter, a hug should mean something, too. A symbol of friendship and felicity, a hug is often one of the most comforting gestures.

As a matter of fact, the hug should be added to our little food game. It should be a stick of gum. Because everyone needs gum and everyone needs hugs! And I've given a lot of hugs and gum to people!

Boo-ya! I have finally validated my efforts to get over my personal space bubble -- to hug and be hugged! Plus, I've given/received many sticks of gum.