Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Young Single Adults -- Lazy?

As an LDS YSA who went to BYU, tries to CTR and attends CES firesides monthly, I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong in dating! Surely at BYU I was supposed to learn how to attract more than one date a semester. And I certainly shouldn't have graduated with no DTRs, zero boyfriends, and negative engagement rings, right! (I admit it, I *did* try on a fake ring to see how it would *feel*) Did I miss that Tuesday Devotional, that Fireside, that Sunday school block class, or Enrichment activity?


Sweet Mother Freedom, I am unencumbered!

However, not having really planned to make it to the ripe old age of 23 without the men swarming me every weekend until I decide to accept my best offer, I'm not really sure what to do. . . I always figured I would have someone else's goals to worry about along with mine.

I want to go to med school...but not alone.
I want to travel...but not alone.
I want to join the Peace Corps...I guess I can do that alone.

The truth is, I've bounced around literally dozens of possibilities over the last six months of things that I could viably do with my life; rearranging the major must-have goals until I find a good plan and start telling people about it. It seems as though once I let everyone know what I plan on doing my prayers for guidance are answered at last and a new option is opened up that seems better than the last.

To top it all off, I keep getting the distinct impression that I need to get out and make myself more available for dating and relationships.

I'm leaving for an extended visit to the UK in 50 days, after which I intend to get a job with EFY and travel around as a Health Counselor all summer -- so not the time to be looking for any lasting relationships.

Since I have a calling (in the nusery -- it's so much fun!) and can't go to the local singles ward, I have been attending Sunday evening YSA activities for the last two weeks. I know, I know -- it hasn't been long enough to form a real opinion of these things, but hear me out. All we do is play board games and snack on sugary stuff. There's a little bit of banter, some really awkward comments made out of ignorance, and practically no lasting bonding. Maybe I'm being to hard on my stake YSA, but they really don't seem to want to date...at all...and prefer to complain about being marriageably single.

. . .

It's intimidating!

How do I stir the pot and help people (myself included) to date and get to know each other when I am the poster child for the socially retarded?!

*cricket, cricket*

If anyone is out there, I'm begging for help. Please, please, please leave a comment and help me brainstorm nonthreatening activities.

I'll go to YSA tomorrow, and next week, and every week until I leave at the end of March. *gag* Even though I really don't want to and can think of many other things to do on a Sunday evening.


Sunday, January 10, 2010


I just had a birthday.

I'm generally a fan of aging. Having been aflicted with youthful features, I enjoy feeling older if nothing else. One of my favorite day dreams is to imagine life as a white-haired lady with her life wrapping up nicely in a rocking chair on the front porch of a big house.

One step closer to the rocking chair and white hair.

It was a lovely birthday, really. Best I've ever had. My family knows me. They know what I appreciate best. I was pleasantly surprised at every turn and ended up celebrating for three days!

Onward! Towards progress!

Monday, January 4, 2010


In the months leading up to a new year, I get a general sense of anticipation or dread for the year to come. Most of the time, it is just a benign "go with the flow" type feeling. Once it was dark, foreboding fingernails-in-the-old-year, don't-want-to-go-on-to-the-new feeling. That turned out to be a year with deep grief and loss right in the middle.

2010 feels very...uncertain. There is no set path for the wind to blow and every minor breeze seems to sway me one way or another.

Already the hard times seem to loom overhead and will not be shushed into submissive silence.

My freshman year at BYU was a year for tremendous learning. Not only did I get to attend the school of my choice and learn the miracles of worldly knowledge, but I was exceedingly blessed with the opportunity to grow socially and spiritually in the presence of supportive peers. The BYU 94th Ward was comprised of less than 100 students. We were all very similar in age and interest. I learned what it was to have best friends outside of my family for the first time in my life. These people included me, a social retard, in both formal and informal activities and study sessions. I felt loved and valued. As a happy consequence, I became less of a social retard.

Four and half years after we all met, we are still an uncommonly close group. Most people lose track of their freshmen wards and don't pay much attention to the passing time.

This weekend we were reminded of our connections once more by the desperate need of one of our own. Bright, beautiful, and talented this particular girl rose a call for help. This call was heard by friends and family close to where she lives now as well as friends from our BYU 94th ward. We rallied together, physically and spiritually, hoping to send some comfort to our friend.

Although only time can tell what lies in store for our friend, one thing is certain:
We are a sturdy and steadfast lot. I am honored to know such fine people. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to grow and learn from these friends. I feel the blessings and comfort of associating with an amazing collection of people.

Let's keep moving together, progressing in our individual journies for perfection.