Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

California Dreamin'

With the crazy Utah weather we've been having (bipolar in the extreme) I'm very, very excited to be heading out for sunny California tomorrow morning!

I'm even more excited to be sharing in the union of two remarkable people. There's something amazing about attending a wedding when both bride and groom are good friends -- it's like double the excitement, fun, and bliss!

Here's to road trips, weddings, and camping on the beach!


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

R.I.P.


Baby and me, circa 2007


A week ago today we had to put our cat down.

His name was Baby and he was nearly 12 years old. As an out-door cat, he was pretty much ancient. He was a great mouser and we found him nibbling on things he'd killed all last summer, and until about three weeks ago he was in great shape. The vet was pretty sure that he had a stroke and it was just down hill from there. Poor thing.

One summer several years ago our neighbors warned us that hawks had gotten to all of their kittens and if we wanted to save ours we needed to protect them somehow. Since cats are useful in Erda to catch mice and other rodents, we wanted to save the kittens. Plus, these were some especially cute kittens! The decision was made to keep the three momma cats and their squirming litters of tiny kittens in my closet. I was in a basement room with sliding windows that the cats could easy open by shoving a paw in between the frame and glass and then working their noses in to widen the gap, making it easy for them to visit the out doors for a restroom break or snack.

I let the mothers come and go as they pleased and the only upset was when a cat pounced on me in the middle the night as they jumped to or from the window since my bed was immediately below.

Baby was a tom cat in every sense. We used to joke that he was like the James Bond of cats with a lady friend everywhere he went. He was also very social. He would saunter over to greet anyone who pulled into our driveway with a loud purr and then beg to be petted. If you put your hand out, he would stand on his back legs to pet himself on your fingertips. He also accepted belly rubs with a booted foot and acted as though it was a great luxury. Easy going and patient, he was a great cat for small children. I've stepped on his tail before and all he did was yelp and then come back to be petted properly.

When the mommas and the kittens were in my closet, Baby seemed to feel a little left out. At first I didn't object to him spending time in there with all of the other cats, but I soon realized that he didn't care about the kittens and just wanted to be surrounded by his harem. He would go right up to the mommas, sit on the kittens and refuse to move as muffled squeals of panicked kitten pancakes arose from beneath his massive backside.

I objected to this.

Fed up, one night I kicked him out the window and told him not to come back in angry voice.

Literally three minutes later Baby was back, looking very smug. He came with a peace offering dangling lifelessly from his mouth, fresh blood beading at its neck. A vole that had probably been alive and well not 90 seconds earlier.

Surprized by this scene in my window, I screamed.

This startled Baby.

He dropped the vole.

Directly onto my pillow.

Before the vole could bounce twice, I had shot up the stairs, screaming bloody murder the whole way.

Needless to say, I had to wash all of my bedding that night. I also tried to reassure Baby and let him know that he was indeed a good cat, but I never wanted any "presents" like that again.

While he would occasionally insist on eating his prey outside the front door (and always received ample praise for his hunting prowess), he never left dead things for us to find later.

I'm very glad for that.

We miss Baby, but take a great deal in comfort knowing that he was a generally happy and healthy cat. I'm glad that we got to enjoy him for so long.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Ten Top Dates of 1971

While reading articles on lds.org about marriage and dating (a compilation project for a friend which I'm sure I will share here soon), I came across this jewel!

To be completely honest, most of this looks like fun. Some of it is pretty weird...but it was 40 years ago. I particularly enjoy the use of the word "fellow" instead of "guy." In fact, I've decided to start using it in my common vernacular.

I wonder what the Ten Top Dates of 2011 would be?

Enjoy!

. . .

Ten Top Dates of 1971
by Jaynann M. Payne

Everyone, it seems, is constantly looking for enjoyable social experiences, no matter how old or young he may be.

But as anyone who has ever been on a date knows, it can be either an enjoyable or a miserable experience, and generally those that are lackluster experiences are that way simply because no one took the time to make them really enjoyable.

So with an eye to improving the memories and experiences of all who date, in both group and twosome dating, the following ideas are presented.

They are (drum roll and bugles, please!) the Ten Top Dates of 1971:

1. Star in Your Own Spectacular. Arrange with four to six couples to each bring a box lunch and several funny, weird costumes or some old clothes. Take a movie camera and several rolls of film and head for the nearest interesting site—perhaps a ghost town, a seaport shanty, a Japanese pagoda, a historical site, or a beautiful scenic mountain or seacoast locale. When you arrive, assign everyone a part and let the cast put on their costumes. Let them suggest plot and actions and then begin filming your own do-it-yourself superspectacular, with all cast members competing for Oscars. After finishing the movie, everyone relaxes with box lunches. This date almost guarantees a second fun experience, because a few weeks later a follow-up party brings everyone together again to view the completed film, with Oscars going to the best, worst, and funniest performances. This is a superb way to fill a memory bank.

2. A View and You—by Candlelight. In the late afternoon two couples are picked up in a chauffeur-driven car (the chauffeur being a friend or member of the family of one of the boys) and taken to a designated place where tandem bicycles await, guarded by a younger brother dressed in some sort of uniform. After leisurely riding and chatting for an hour, the two couples arrive at some scenic view—a mountainside, a seaside, a lake, a river, or a hill. At a prearranged time, the “chauffeur” returns, whisks from the car a card table, four chairs, a lace tablecloth, a candelabrum with lighted candles, pizza, soft drinks, salad, sweets, and voila! A candlelight supper with a view—and you! Again your chauffeur returns at a prearranged time, after you have eaten and watched a beautiful sunset. He clears the table, returns everything to the car, and departs, leaving the two couples to take a leisurely return ride home by bike.

3. Wash-the-Wagon Date. Each couple brings a car that needs washing and plenty of buckets and soap. It is advisable to wear bathing suits or grubbies, because most of the fun will happen after the cars are washed and a water fight ensues, using balloon-and-bucket props. Rules should be drawn up and the fun confined to those at the party—no attacking of passing cars or pedestrians! Conclude with plenty of towels and hot stew, homemade bread, jam, and salad. A camera is always a good way to record the hits and provide future enjoyment. This date is lots of fun for neighborhood parties, where group dating is just the thing.

4. Create Your Own Masterpiece. A most memorable date can be a creative experience in which you and your date make something together. How about writing a children’s storybook and illustrating it with pictures cut out of magazines? This is an activity made to order for one, two, or three couples, and it guarantees an evening’s time spent in fun and thoughtful endeavor. The finished book could be given to a member of the family for a birthday or to a child in the hospital. This idea is great for a wet or wintery evening. Chili or stew served with fruit, cheese, and sweet rolls will nourish the hungry authors. If you really want to get to know a person better, if you want to know what he likes and thinks and feels, creative dates like this are the finest!

5. Paint-the-Town Date, or A Tom Sawyer Special. To two couples, add four paintbrushes and several gallons of paint. Find a widow or a family with a fence, garage, home, or barn that needs painting or find something around your own home that needs to be brightened up. Make all arrangements previously with the owner as to color, kind of paint, and so forth. One young couple painted the girl’s father’s cement mixer with a wild assortment of colored flowers. A backyard barbecue may complete the afternoon, or aluminum foil dinners of meat, potatoes, onions, and carrots cooked in coals will carry out the Tom Sawyer theme. If you wish, you can ask the couples to dress like Tom or Huck Finn. The best results from this date are the warm and productive feelings you gain from having made one spot on earth more beautiful.

6. A Sew-Sew Date. Clothing is so individual and cosmopolitan, why not get together with another couple and spend an evening creating a specialty, such as a leather vest, a belt, a wallet, or a purse? One fellow bought an inexpensive blue denim jacket and then faced the front with leather. Macramé is also fun. Another couple made for a younger brother a cute sleeping bag in the shape of an alligator. Finish the evening with pancakes, bacon, and eggs.

7. A Kindergarten Date. Call four to six couples, tell them to come dressed in playclothes, and meet at the local school playground. Play all the silly little games you played in grade school, such as drop the handkerchief; run, sheepie, run; London Bridge is falling down; kick the can. Be sure to bone up on all the rules of the games beforehand. Use the playground equipment. Also have everyone bring or tell about his favorite childhood comic magazine or the story that was his favorite when he was six. Afterward, go to the home of one of the girls and fingerpaint and make ice cream. Top off the party with hamburgers and ice cream. If you want to turn this into a special party or a birthday party for one of the fellows or girls, secretly collect baby pictures and a funny story about each person from parents or family members. Then type up each story, without using names, and attach the baby pictures. After eating, everyone tries to guess which baby picture and story belongs to which person. The results can be hilarious.

8. The Play Is the Thing, or “To Be or Not to Be.” Choose a short play, preferably a comedy. Have as many copies made as there are characters in the play; then invite a corresponding number of people. Don’t worry about the number of girls or boys in the play, because sometimes it is more fun for a girl to take a man’s part and vice versa. Upon arrival, each person is given a script and is asked to choose his or her part. Each couple is allowed a few moments to look over the script. Then, with appropriate sound effects and music, the play begins. Each person reads his part and acts out his character, making his own sound effects or being helped by others. The evening may conclude with fondue or fix-it-yourself sandwiches and sundaes.

9. An International Holiday. Plan with three or four other couples to celebrate the Chinese New Year, Jewish Rosh Hashanah or Hanukkah, Hawaiian Kuhio Day, Irish St. Patrick’s Day, Mexican Cinco de Mayo, or any one of the many holidays from the nations of the world. Find out what the people do on their special holiday, what they traditionally eat, how they celebrate, and why. This may take a bit of study and planning, but it can be very rewarding and interesting. With so many returned missionaries to aid you, this shouldn’t be difficult. One young couple celebrated the Chinese New Year with firecrackers and a Chinese dinner served on a low table. Everyone ate while seated on cushions on the floor. After dinner each person was given a piece of paper and asked to think up an original Chinese proverb. The host couple gave a brief account of how the Chinese celebrate their new year. Background music and artwork from the country had been checked out of the local library, and for a few special hours, everyone enjoyed being part of a distant land.

10. Happiness is … This is a date where you do something for someone else, such as—

—Planning and preparing a special family night for her (his) family, complete with lesson, games, and treats. If agreeable, the couple’s families could join together.

—Gathering up your little brothers and sisters and some of the neighborhood kids and flying kites or playing ball with them or taking them on a hike or a picnic.

—Making some goodies and taking them to someone you know who is ill or housebound.

—Ultimately being worthy to accept the greatest date of all, going to the temple of the Lord.

After checking the above ten suggestions, it is easy to see that for the most successful and memorable dates you need to—

1. Plan ahead, even for informal dates. Most girls cringe when a boy arrives for a date and asks, “What do you want to do?”

2. Realize that movies and spectator entertainment won’t help you to get to know a person very well; making and creating things together will—and it will also be the most fun.

3. Double date or plan dates with four to six couples, depending upon the activity.

4. Keep your dates fairly simple and inexpensive.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Cold Air and Solitude

Today was Earth Day, Spanish Valentine's Day, and Good Friday.

I admired the world and the beautiful things it has to offer.

I received a rose from a secret admirer for Spanish Valentine's Day. Actually, it wasn't a secret and all of the other girls at work got one too. The company that owns the company I work for is from Spain. I guess we celebrate Spanish holidays.

I decided to make today a good Friday.

Today I received many compliments on my new hair cut. Don't worry, I'll post pictures as soon as I can take some. I will take pictures as soon as my face isn't hideous. My face will be less hideous as soon as this horrible zit decides to vacate the painful swelling I once called my nose.

Today I decided to make some decisions. So, I'm going to look into that.

Today I wanted to crawl into a corner for a nap but realized that the only place I could do that would be on the dirty floor and chose to remain upright instead. I just traded out bio waste containers instead and took in the cold air and solitude of the bio waste container closet. There's something about being alone that I crave and need on a daily basis. When life gets hectic, the first thing I want to do is remove myself from life and find someplace to be alone. Not that things were hectic today. I don't know. My mind has been hectic all week. Maybe I just need to sleep more and shut off my mind.

But then, I know that my dreams will be all over the place.

Can't win for losing.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Cubby In My Heart

Circa 2007

As I awoke this morning, sharp blast of the alarm clock wailing, I thought I saw you in the corner of my mind. The crook of your smile, the star-light in your eyes, a memory of your touch – I thought I remembered it this morning. A memory from beyond the time of remembering, as much a part of me as my parent’s DNA tied up in neat little packages within each of my cells. My heart has always had a cubby with your name on it. You carved it out in a place beyond all places. It used to ache, this hole that belongs to you, but now it is filled with hope because I feel you are near although I have no way of knowing you. So unique, it can only belong to you. You keep me waiting, but I wait patiently because your cubby has your name on it and no one else can belong there – that would be against the rules. My friends don’t have cubbies within their hearts. I used to envy them their pain-free existences. But then I realized that with hope living all cozy and safe within this hole in my heart, I still have a heart while they take theirs out of their bodies to offer passers-by who like to admire for a time but then leave them in the dust to become shriveled and dried out. My heart is not overly soiled. It is merely lonely.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Smokin' Spider

Oh, what a night!

After a crazy cleaning spree last night that postponed bed time until 1am, I'm woken up by a shrill alarm. Having woken up an hour before with the cords of my alarm clock and bed-side lamp in my hand, I didn't think much of it and began pushing every button on my "broken" alarm clock in attempts to silence it. I was worried that it would wake the entire house. It was 4:00 AM, after all.

Sounds from down the hall confirm that my little brother and sister were both up.

"I'm trying to fix it!" I thought as I continued to pound on all of the buttons fixed on top of my alarm clock.

That's when my youngest sister opened my door and shouted, "Fire! It's saying Fire!"

Everything clicked in a moment.

It was not my alarm clock, but the fire alarms that blared.

That's when the questions began pouring from my groggy brain.

Why are the fire alarms going off?

How do we turn them off?

Is there actually a fire?

Everyone grabbed shoes and a jacket and met up in the middle of the house, instinctively grouping. We decided to confirm an actual problem before calling the fire department. After several sweeps of the house for visual or olfactory signs of fire or electrical problems, we concluded that we didn't have a fire on our hands but a malfunctioning alarm system.

Nerves jarred and adrenaline still coursing through my system, I attempted to lay back down for a few more winks at the night. I tossed and turned twice before the alarms went off again. The shrill beeps notified us that something was still amiss and needed attention.

My little brother was on the phone with dispatch in a moment and we had the Sheriff and a slew of volunteer fire fighters in two fire trucks in front of our house in no time.

They used a heat gun on all of the walls to detect fire in the electrical system, and carbon monoxide detectors for, well, carbon monoxide. The only thing they found was an orange blinking light where it should have been green. This let us know that the alarm in my parent's master bedroom was  the culprit.

Of course Mom and Dad would be out of the country when something like this happened.

*tsk, tsk*

We chatted with the firemen for a while and learned that small insects or dust will sometimes get into the fire alarms and set them off at random times. We committed to cleaning the alarms, putting moth balls behind them, and changing the battery in the alarm that went off.

I was just really glad that my cleaning spree had set many things right that would otherwise have been deeply embarrassing. There is no excuse for a messy house.

My little brother climbed a ladder to the vaulted ceiling where the evil fire alarm was placed. Upon examination he discovered a tiny spider.

It might still be in there.

We were Skyping with my parents at the time and everyone agreed that the spider must have been smoking something up there and that's what really set off the alarm; not mere spider legs tickling the sensors.

In any case, bed time was stretched back to 5:00AM and the disruptive sleep has left me feeling a bit queasy. Good thing that today is my day off. Tender mercies come wrapped in strange packages.