As an LDS YSA who went to BYU, tries to CTR and attends CES firesides monthly, I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong in dating! Surely at BYU I was supposed to learn how to attract more than one date a semester. And I certainly shouldn't have graduated with no DTRs, zero boyfriends, and negative engagement rings, right! (I admit it, I *did* try on a fake ring to see how it would *feel*) Did I miss that Tuesday Devotional, that Fireside, that Sunday school block class, or Enrichment activity?
Meh.
Sweet Mother Freedom, I am unencumbered!
However, not having really planned to make it to the ripe old age of 23 without the men swarming me every weekend until I decide to accept my best offer, I'm not really sure what to do. . . I always figured I would have someone else's goals to worry about along with mine.
I want to go to med school...but not alone.
I want to travel...but not alone.
I want to join the Peace Corps...I guess I can do that alone.
The truth is, I've bounced around literally dozens of possibilities over the last six months of things that I could viably do with my life; rearranging the major must-have goals until I find a good plan and start telling people about it. It seems as though once I let everyone know what I plan on doing my prayers for guidance are answered at last and a new option is opened up that seems better than the last.
To top it all off, I keep getting the distinct impression that I need to get out and make myself more available for dating and relationships.
I'm leaving for an extended visit to the UK in 50 days, after which I intend to get a job with EFY and travel around as a Health Counselor all summer -- so not the time to be looking for any lasting relationships.
Since I have a calling (in the nusery -- it's so much fun!) and can't go to the local singles ward, I have been attending Sunday evening YSA activities for the last two weeks. I know, I know -- it hasn't been long enough to form a real opinion of these things, but hear me out. All we do is play board games and snack on sugary stuff. There's a little bit of banter, some really awkward comments made out of ignorance, and practically no lasting bonding. Maybe I'm being to hard on my stake YSA, but they really don't seem to want to date...at all...and prefer to complain about being marriageably single.
. . .
It's intimidating!
How do I stir the pot and help people (myself included) to date and get to know each other when I am the poster child for the socially retarded?!
*cricket, cricket*
If anyone is out there, I'm begging for help. Please, please, please leave a comment and help me brainstorm nonthreatening activities.
I'll go to YSA tomorrow, and next week, and every week until I leave at the end of March. *gag* Even though I really don't want to and can think of many other things to do on a Sunday evening.
love,
zam
I think that laziness is actually a big part of it, because it's so much easier to just stay in your comfort zone (I'm saying this as a very judgmental statement about most guys). Suggestions? Be willing to ask guys out, look for things that could be a fun cheap date, find girl friends that will be willing to help you with the courage/double dating aspects, and get out of Tooele!! :-D Honestly, though, my sister-in-law had kind of given up several times, had traveled the world (really, England, China, Italy, etc) and she just now got engaged to a guy whose family moved a few blocks from her parent's house. You just never know. Make yourself available, but don't worry too much about the whole, "Did I miss that meeting where Mr. Right was?" And think what an awesome wife/mother you'll be with all these other experiences you're doing this summer and stuff! It sounds awesome, and I wish you the best! (Heather Sagers Lichfield)
ReplyDeleteThanks Heather! I'm totally open to asking guys out-- been there, done that, I'm a pro. I'm really just looking for ways to get more group togetherness going on during weekly activities that are more fun than bored . . . er . . . board games.
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