1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity enviety not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
In versions other than the King James Bible, "charity" reads as "love." But that's what charity is. Deep, abiding, true love. This verse is used in a lot of wedding services for the simple beauty and poetry of the words mingled with advice applicable to everyone but particularly to those committed to love each other for ever.
I think it's gorgeous.
During a conversation with a very dear friend this afternoon I asked, as I often do, what helped her to know that her husband was "the one."
She said, "Love is easy."
"If it's complicated or hard, then it isn't love. Not real love."
This resonates with me.
Whenever I think about the possibility of a dating partner I pray. I ask God to help it to be easy because I can't deal with complicated any more. I ask Him to help it come to a natural end soon if it's not meant to last.
And He hears me.
Love should be easy.
I've had people tell me that meeting their significant other was like finding their long-lost best friend, their other half, their one and only. There wasn't an event that let them know, they just knew.
This has always confused me. How can a person just know something? Isn't there some kind of formula by which this thing can be tested scientifically? Shouldn't your choice in life partner be based on something a little more substantial than a visceral reaction fueled by hormones?
Things finally clicked for me today.
Love should be easy.
It should be based on friendship.
And mutual respect.
A shared history; no matter how short that history may be.
Real love is not complicated.
It doesn't come with deadlines.
Or a check list.
It should be natural.
Like breathing.
Or stretching after a long sleep.
It should feel good.
It should be comfortable.
And joyful.
It's easy.
As it should be.
Some of the best advice my mother gave me was, "get married when dating stops being fun, but the person doesn't." I ALWAYS had crushes on lots of people, but once I met Adam, I simply had no interest in anyone else, and didn't want to stop being with him. The best part of being married was being able to say goodnight, but not goodbye. Now I'm feeling all gooey and romantic. :)
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