Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Sunday, October 31, 2010


I feel discombobulated.

In the extreme.

If you've ever wondered what it might feel like to have coils of electric cord wound around every nerve in your body set as springs on high tension ready to lash out in random activity and deliver a 1.21 gigawatt jolt racing from head to boots, while at the same time experiencing lethargy, despair, elation, and a hefty serving of self doubt, then you may have wondered what it feels like to feel the way I feel right now.

Ha. Try to understand that. I dare you.

It's times like these that I just really want to be cruel to other people to watch them cry. But not children.

Never children.

Or animals.

But I won't.

I'll be good and nice. Even if my teeth are barred all the while.


So, when I was in the fifth grade my class went on a field trip to one of the local roller skate rinks. Somehow I got it in my head that the claw machine had the world's perfect toy and it needed to come home with me. I plunked my quarters into the machine waited for the claw to come alive and swung it around, aimed, and let it drop.


A few more quarters.

So close!

And nothing.

After several attempts, and many quarters, I finally got something from a claw machine! The perfect toy! A stuffed lioness! 

I had finally won something! This had almost never happened before, and almost never since.

I was so excited, fireworks were practically erupting out of my eyes!

With only a few minutes left to actually skate at the rink, I carefully placed my treasure with my shoes under a low-lying bench and glided onto the slick floor to catch up with my friends for one last go-around.

As the day came to an end, I could hardly contain the excitement of having beat the claw! I wanted to show off my stuffed lioness to everyone. Nearing my corner of the bench, I noticed that something was a little...off. My shoes had been moved. My green and blue plaid bag was disturbed. My stuffed lioness was gone!

That's when I saw a girl from my class handing an identical stuffed lioness to her boyfriend. Being the tactful (not) creature that I am, I marched right up to the girl and demanded my lioness back immediately. She insisted that it wasn't mine. Gesturing to the claw box filled with stuffed lions and lionesses she claimed to have won that particular toy from the claw.

Never mind that she was standing five feet from where I had left my stuffed lioness.

Never mind that it took me the better part of half an hour to do what she claimed to have done in less than five minutes.

Never mind that her boyfriend was looking around with a guilty countenance.

The teacher could do nothing to help me. There was no proof. I had to leave empty handed.

The girl was triumphant.

I was discombobulated.

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