Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Monday, October 4, 2010

On Validation

I love this video.

Basically, I love it because I use validation as a verb in my common vernacular. I love to validate others and feel fuzzy when they validate me.

As a painfully shy, socially inept teen I began to notice common social courtesies that other's would bestow on friends or those they wished to impress. Compliments and other forms of validation were high on the list.

So I began practicing the art of compliments. At first I would just try to think up something nice about another person. Then I graduated to voicing my observation and accompanying nice thought. This was tricky, however, because there isn't always an appropriate time to tell someone that you think they have a well-shaped nose.

I struggled.

So I began focusing on my non-existent conversation skills. Simply carrying on for a few minutes in oratory exchange outside the required discussion of school work etc. was quite a challenge.

I struggled.

So I decided to revert. After observing a group of elementary kids interact I realized that kids just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Take this kid for example. I practiced just letting words flow from my loose lips.

I embarrassed myself often.

But I made progress.

As I transversed each social experiment, I was careful to pay attention and incorporate things that had worked previously. I would tell a joke, show my interest in what someone was saying by asking questions, and offer compliments. In fact, it is a rule of mine to never suppress a compliment or a kind word that might lift another. This is just as important as keeping rude or judgemental comments inside.

There is no telling when someone is really in need of some validation for their talent, fashion sense, work, or the shape of their nose.

1 comment:

  1. I had only ever seen the first part of this video. Awesome! And I agree, sincere compliments are a great way to start a conversation, everyone loves to talk about them selves. Way to look for the good in people!