Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Uh oh, I feel the rumblies!

So, I'm a scream barfer.

Basically, it works like this: Things are not supposed to go out the in hole.

It just shouldn't happen.

My body understands this and puts up a valiant fight to keep such unnatural occurrences from tarnishing its luster. As this happens, every single muscle in my body -- including those keeping my eyeballs in my head -- revolt. It's like they feel a personal duty to keep the bile inside! So, all these muscles, my entire gastrointestinal system, lungs, heart, hair, skin, vocal chords -- everything -- gets up and takes a stand.

BLAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGH! BLEGH!!

People can seriously hear me from anywhere in a one mile radius. Then they start to spontaneously sympathy barf, and it's just one big vomity mess!

Not really, but that would be terrible.

 If it weren't so painful, I would be really touched to note how hard my body fights to protect itself. However, it hurts like the dickens to have everything up in arms at the same time. Particularly when I know it would just be easier to *ralph* and be done with it all!

Here's to scream barfers everywhere: Stay strong!

love,
zam

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