Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Shhhh

You know that place between sleeping and awake?

I've been finding myself there a lot recently.

That's where I dream.

I dream crazy things that will never, ever happen but in my dreams I always know exactly how to respond.

Last night I dreamed that a friend was getting married. I showed up to his wedding and discovered that it was an all day ceremony but the bride and groom had snuck out and gone home.

So, I got directions from some people I didn't know and managed to find the correct apartment, no problem. I had to see them because I was leaving immediatly and wouldn't have the opportunity to congratulate them for a long time.

The lovely young bride opened the door and invited me inside. My friend was sleeping so I got to chat with the girl. We hit it off and became best friends in just a few minutes. Becoming someones new best friend is my dream self's hidden talent.

After a little while we decide to go wake my friend up because I have to leave but I wanted to congratulate him on his marriage to this amazing girl. He was awake and surprised to see me there. As we chatted the bride started changing into a rather provocative outfit with a very short skirt. This sort of surprised me but I didn't want to say anything about it because it wasn't my place to criticize. My friend just stared adoringly at his new wife and complimented her on how energetic she was. She stared straight back at him and said, "It's because I'm a meth addict."

So, there I was stuck in a room during a rather shocking revelation with no real reason to be there except that I'd wanted to say hello. I could see the horror on my friend's face but could do nothing but feel immense sorrow for him. No one deserves to find out about their honey's meth habit just hours after getting hitched! I quietly excused myself and left.

This was a rather disturbing dream. I've been thinking about it all day and basically, it all boils down to one main idea: Sometimes the best answer is silence.

All my life I have tried to muscle people into seeing things from my perspective because if they did, they would have no problem in seeing how my way is the best way. I had no patience for people who chose to do stupid things because they ought to have seen how idiotic they were being and figured out a different path. There was no room for mercy inside my heart for those who misstepped and made choices that ultimately hurt themselves and those close to them. I just could not comprehend why they deserved grace.

In the last few years I have discoverd that I'm not a perfect person. I've made choices that have hurt myself and those I care about. Most of time it was because I was trying to protect myself from some kind of embarrassment. I cared too much about what people thought of me to see that my behavior was actually causing my image detriment.

The last few months I've been learning a lot about stepping away from situations where I have no place to judge and my opinion bears little merit.

Sometimes the best response to a sticky situation is silence.

1 comment:

  1. All I have to say is WHAT a crazy, uncomfortable dream!

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