Poetry and musings of a zany Mormon girl who is very proud of her Erda roots.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

ET's Mom and The Giddy Human Vampire Head-Nuzzler

I apologize for my terrible grammar and run-on sentances in this post. The poor writing will stand as a testament to how freaking weird this event was for me.


Last night I had a really . . . um . . . interesting dream.

It involved my dream-self waking up in bed while being prodded in the back by ET's mom's glowing finger. She's talking to me telepathically via glowing finger and needs a connection. That connection is my spine. Apparently ET was too young to connect with people telepathically via the glowing finger.

But his mom wasn't!

So, anyway, she's all chatty and keeps going on and on about how she's going to decorate or something and I'm like, "What is going on here?!" and she tells me about how the aliens have been communicating with the dolphin-penguins to decide if Earth would be a good place to cohabitate with the indigenous life forms. She looks really happy with her decision to make Earth he new home and oblivious to the fact that people live here too and people are a whole lot more crazy than dolphin-penguins. When I alert ET's mom to this fact she looks really confused; I was the first person she met. How she ended up waking me in my room to begin the conversation in the first place, I will never know.

That's when I start freaking out and telling her about war and how terrible people are to one another and how Earth is the least-friendly place in the galaxy and they should never, ever consider staying here because they would most certainly end up dead! I like the ET family, I don't want them floating in gigantic mason jars filled with formaldehyde fated to tour the USA in a side show run out of 1930's ford trucks behind a giant yellow circus tent!

Then her heart starts glowing and she puts her arms up and run/waddles out to the space ship. "Eeeeeeeeeeee!"

We never see the ET family again but I feel confident that I have protected the aliens from a terrible, terrible fate.

I miss ET's mom and wonder if maybe it would have been ok to let her be my neighbor. She was nice.

Next thing I know, I'm in a motor home trading the contents of my change purse and two new novels I had recently purchased at Barnes and Noble and could validate their origin in exchange for tickets to some event Noel really wanted to attend at the high school auditorium. A human Edward Cullen, who happened to be the high school quarterback, is behind the cash register. He gives me a good deal on a deluxe ticket which turns out to be the seat next to him. Edward nuzzles the back of my head and messes up my hair. Apparently this means that we are officially dating, even though I'm really not too jazzed by the prospect.  He squeals with delight because he gets to be my boyfriend and proceeds to parade me in front of the entire school.

I try to let Noel know that I can't sit with her as formerly planned. She is angry with me because she doesn't know anyone else in the auditorium and is all alone. I can't even talk to her about it because I'm being dragged up to the popular kid's section of the auditorium with the cushy seats by an overly-affectionate Edward.

I woke up very confused with a stomachache.

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