Sometimes it's ok when things just don't work out.
All week I have been looking forward to getting together with friends from this summer. Planning was going really slowly because no one would commit to a meeting place, time, or activity. I offered literally dozens of possible choices but no one wanted to hazard any input.
I really wanted it to happen.
By Wednesday we were in a "hot mess." No plans were finalized and most of the people who said they were coming probably wouldn't be able to check Facebook for updates. I kept on, though, feeling that if were just able to figure out a time and place to meet, everything else would fall into place.
Nothing was falling into place.
Sometimes it's better to just accept that something is a little off and no matter the effort, it can't work anyway so it's better to just stop trying.
Everyone always has their own plans that must coordinate just right in order for everything to work .
I have thrown a lot of parties in the past. Playing the role of hostess is a lot of fun for me -- I love seeing other people having a great time -- it makes me feel good. However, if an event is scheduled at the same time or the same day as another event, then it forces people to make a choice between the two things. This can be really difficult.
When I was 17 my siblings and I began planning an awesome Halloween party at the beginning of September. We portioned off bits of the family budget and began stockpiling decorations and party food for the event weeks in advance. I hand made invitations with detailed monsters on the front -- each one unique. In order to host the party at all my mom made sure that the little kids got a party too. So, we scheduled the kid party in the early afternoon and the teen party for the evening.
I really wanted the party to happen and to be a success.
By the time the kids party was over, I was a wreck. Exhausted from entertaining a bunch of elementary kids all afternoon with pin the organ on the zombie and other such games I had made up, I was not in a very good mood.
When the teens began to arrive, my spirits rose. I really wanted to impress my friends and have a good time.
Only two of my invited guests arrived.
You see, there were several other activities going on the same night. While my siblings' friends were all free to attend our party, my friends were busy.
I ended up spending most of the evening a grumpy mess and my two friends left early because I was not being a very good hostess.
In short, it was a disaster.
Since then, I have learned to feel things out before planning an event. Quite often, a little communication goes a long way in making something work out to suit everyone involved. However, everyone must be willing to put their two cents in and not simply assume that someone else will speak up.
I've also learned to enjoy the party, even when things don't turn out as expected. That's part of the fun.
So, tonight I took a nice little drive into Salt Lake by myself and a nice little drive back. All by myself the whole time.
The city is beautiful at Christmas time. Gateway is one of my very favorite places with the trees all lit, colorful displays in every window, and the fountain splashing in time to music piped through speakers strategically placed around the plaza.
While it may have been more fun to walk through the street with friends, it was pretty darn great just walking at my own pace and watching all of the other people who may or may not have showed up anyway.
Sometimes it really is ok when things just don't work out.
Hopefully we can plan something else in the future. If we do, maybe I'll be free to attend but maybe I won't. We'll have to see. If that is the case, you be I'll be offering alternate plans that suit mine better or rearranging things to make it happen.
I'd really like for it to happen.
To be completely honest, it's not the event that makes me want it all to happen, or even most of the people. I really want this all to work out so I can see a few specific people. One in particular. But sometimes it's ok when things just don't work out.